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I'm just trying to figure out this journey we call life

Sunday 27 May 2012

Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone

This blog is inspired by a line in this poem:
Ever since it was posted on Glow* this poem has basically been a big part of my life motto. I'm trying to help myself be more comfortable on my own at the moment and a lot of it has been due to and helped by this poem.

One of the things that I've really been working on right now is the art of letting myself go without technology. As most people my age, I'm often on my phone or plugged into my iPod, listening to music to keep me company. But this month I've started to let myself just be alone with me more. When I'm walking home I don't put my headphones in and let music keep me company: I keep myself company and let myself be enough. Listening to my own thoughts and the nature around me is enough on these walks. I don't get bored, as I would have done, because I've learnt to listen to myself. It feels good. My head gets so overcrowded at times, it's good to have those times when I'm travelling to my next task to just be with me.

Of course I still appreciate company when I have it, I've just learnt not to need company all the time. It's good and it's helping me become a better person, to know myself more and maybe start loving myself as I would a friend. Not being dependent on technology to keep me company is a big step in this journey and it feels good to be there.

Thursday 3 May 2012

On my own

This journey I've decided to go on seems to be one that can only be achieved through spending time on my own. I've never really been good at this before, despite being an only child I was never alone, I always had people around me, even if it was only my parents.

But this year, especially these past couple of weeks, I've had to learn how to be on my own more and how to be happy with that. It's a process, but I think it's a process that's good for me. Learning how to spend my frees in the library, working alone so that I can have some me time and am able to relax it home a bit more is good for me. I know there'll be a lot more of this needing to happen in the future and so learning to do it now is good.

This is also good for my learning how to love myself like a friend mission that I'm on right now. It's a way of forcing myself to spend time with myself when I'd usually previously be spending it with a friend. It's helping me become my own friend, helping me see myself that way. Being forced to spend time on my own isn't really making me feel lonely at the moment, it's helping me.

Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and the people in my life. I love spending time with them when I can and I wish I saw them more. I just don't feel as lonely when it's not possible to spend time with them. I'm not to the point where I'm completely confident in spending time alone, but I'm on my way.