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I'm just trying to figure out this journey we call life

Thursday, 28 July 2011

Childhood by Rainer Marie Rilke

It would be good to give much thought, before
you try to find words for something so lost,
for those long childhood afternoons you knew
that vanished so completely -and why?

We're still reminded-: sometimes by a rain,
but we can no longer say what it means;
life was never again so filled with meeting,
with reunion and with passing on

as back then, when nothing happened to us
except what happens to things and creatures:
we lived their world as something human,
and became filled to the brim with figures.

And became as lonely as a sheperd
and as overburdened by vast distances,
and summoned and stirred as from far away,
and slowly, like a long new thread,
introduced into that

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

I get the feeling of needing a lot. A lot of times I'll read something or see something and I just feel like a certain thing has to happen. Usually it's not something that can happen in my life at this moment in time, I feel like I have a lot more goals that can only be accomplished in 6 years or so. I wish I could do more now but for some reason it just feels like I can't.

I think a lot of that feeling comes from my age. I'm 16 and, although a couple of years ago it seemed like being 16 meant you were all grown up and you did everything for yourself, I still feel very much like a child. Honestly, I don't do a lot of stuff without my mum and when I do I need her permission, I can't really just do things. Also, I look up to people who are 21-26 (ish) and they don't have the same restrictions. I would love to have half the experiences that my idol has had but I feel like I want them now but I can't have them now. because I'm too young.

I'm also very confused and want very opposite things at the same time. I want to travel. But I don't want to leave home. There are many reasons why I don't want to leave home but, at the moment, my feeling of need to travel and see just one new place is greater than the thing that's pulling me to this house I grew up in. Maybe that's part of growing up, conflicting desires and having to choose between them, I don't know.

Basically, what I think I'm trying to get at is the fact that I am inexperienced in life etc. and I want to become more experienced but I don't feel like I can right now. It's annoying. But maybe it will drive me to do more things when I can. I hope it does. Basically, I want to experience everything possible but can't find a way to do it right now. I think that's the message of this blog...I'm not to sure really.

This blog was semi inspired by Julia Albain's most recent blog. Yes, her again.

Tuesday, 26 July 2011


I meant to blog yesterday but I got lazy so I didn't, because I don't have to. But I should have. But no one checked so its all good. Now onto the blog...

Yesterday I went to an induction day for the volunteering I'm going to be doing in August. On the way there I was so unbelievably nervous, I think I was shaking a little bit. Usually, if I'm going to be doing a new thing/going to a new place I have at least one similar experience to compare it with but yesterday I didn't and it scared me so much. I don't know anyone who will be volunteering with me and it was just a completely new experience. Those scare me to death. I think it might be good for me to do more of those things though, it might make me a better person, you never know! Anyway, moving on from my anxiety. As I've said, it was a completely new experience for me and so I didn't want to be late or anything so I arrived super early. When I got there (shaking) I saw a couple of people going in and followed them. When I got to the entrance they were sat talking outside but I walked up to the door and the volunteer coordinator saw me and let us in. So that was good, kind of awkward but good. We waited for other people to come in, again it was a bit awkward but I'm a bit awkward so it's all good! Basically it was all good. Once everyone had arrived we did an ice breaker game where questions were asked and you had to go to certain sides for certain things. One disappointment there: one of the questions was facebook or twitter and there were only 2 of us for twitter. Warrington disappoints me. Oh well. After that we went in and had a presentation basically telling us what to expect when volunteering and stuff. It basically looks like I'm going to be playing for a month. That should be fun! We did some other activities and then got our CRB checks done. I'm all set for volunteering! Hopefully, since I'm going to be doing BEDA this August I'll have some good blog material from it!

So, I guess this is kind of a lame subject but its something I want to talk about and I have no where else to do it so I'm doing it here...
Yesterday, when we were watching Hollyoaks, one of the characters said to his boyfriend "we could be at a bus stop and it would still be special" and my mum turned to me and said "I hope you feel that way about someone someday." I don't know why, but this is something I feel like sharing. I agree with my mum but its just not really something we talk about and it was kind of weird for me, I didn't really know what to say. I don't know. That was just something I wanted to put out there...

I've talked a bit about Julia Albain a bit on here before but for some reason I really want to say a bit more about her so I am. If you read my blog regularly then you'll know that I read Julia's book at the start of this month and loved it! She has quickly become my favourite starkid because of many things: the way she writes is amazing; her book has honestly changed my outlook on life and she isn't perfect. That last reason is a bit of a weird reason, we usually idolize the people we think are perfect but for me doing that leads to self esteem issues. If I am idolizing someone who is stick thin it leads to me constantly wondering why I can't be that skinny etc. So for me, it is healthier to look up to people who lead healthy lifestyles but won't disappear if they turn sideways. That might sound like a slam on other people or like I'm saying something about Julia but it isn't meant to be, it's just the way my mind works I guess. Also, from reading her book you get the impression that
she is constantly working on herself, she always wants to make herself better which is something I really admire and I kind of identify with. Really, they are the reasons that I have come to love her so much. She just has this amazing way of looking at things and ever since reading her book I feel like I have started to see certain things differently. I first noticed this on holiday, I found myself more willing to absorb information at the various historical places we visited, something I wouldn't have done a year a go. Julia has also made me more committed to writing and, until I read her book, I don't think I really appreciated this blog and the opportunity to just write, no matter how good I am, just because I can and it helps me. I really feel like it's changed me as a person purely because it's given me someone to look up to and identify with, someone I don't think I had before. I can now say I have an idol, I may not be an actress or director but I look up to Julia Albain for her mindset more than her work.

Again, that was just something I wanted to get off my chest.

One last thing for today:
I have decided to give my friends blog names because I don't really want to use their names but I can't keep saying "my friend". These are the ones I have come up with so far:

  • smarty-pants friend
  • short funny friend
  • crazy crazy haired friend
  • dirty minded friend
  • fringed friend
  • sweet guy friend
  • not gay guy friend
  • smart arse guy friend
Those are what I have for now, if you are one of them you'll know which one! (I hope)

Today was awesome because: Instead of walking like a normal person to give my mum something, I crawled and it was a lot faster and comfier than I would have been if I'd have walked. I think I should crawl more often.

Sunday, 24 July 2011

Harry Potter and other such stuff

Yesterday was a fairly busy day, I think it sounds a lot busier than it felt but I guess I did a lot. I had another 2 birthday parties and a keyboard lesson. My keyboard lesson was just like my normal keyboard lesson so nothing to say there! Afterwards we went home, had lunch then went straight out again to our ex next door neighbour's 90th birthday party. That was, well, a 90th birthday party. Not really the place for a 16 year old but it could have been worse! Oh well, we went after a couple of hours because I had to get to one of my friend's birthday parties which this blog is essentially going to be about...

We arrived at my friend's with the plan to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 then go to the cinemas and watch part 2. So, that's what we did! We watched part 1 and talked/criticized/laughed through it, as we tend to do because we can't help it. Nothing really stands out from watching that, other than having Maccies for tea. After watching and eating we walked up to the cinema talking about the usual, StarKid stuff and everything. We got our tickets out and went to find seats in the (kind of) crowded screen then talked until/through the adverts.

I have a lot to say about the films so I'm go back to that good way of blogging I have: bullet pointing. So, here goes...
Our overall group experience with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2:

  • First of all, we're pretty sure everyone in the cinema hated us. You'll see why by the end of the blog.
  • Dirty minded friend ruined the film a little bit (in a jokey way) by telling me that she wanted to stick voldemort's wand up his nose every time she saw him. It's hard to take him seriously when you're thinking that every time you see him
  • Our group were commenting pretty much until the battle of Hogwarts really began and we're not the quietest group of people
  • Personally, the funniest occurrence was when one of the snatchers put his foot forward to check if the shield around Hogwarts had been broken and mad friend said "I take my foot" which resulted in explosions of laughter from our group. This was a very tense and serious moment and we were just laughing, quite loudly
  • During a very very sad bit me and funny friend were crying, along with others I expect and then funny friend began laughing, making me laugh. This was, again, at a hugely inappropriate time and we were just laughing loudly again.
  • As you can probably tell, our group was the loudest in the cinema and if you've seen the film then you know how funny the part where Voldemort hugs Draco is. However, our group must have been the only people who were laughing during this time. I have no idea why no one else was laughing at it, but no one else was and again, we were laughing.
So, that was how we ruined the movie for everyone else. I feel a bit bad but in another way it was just funny and I never regret laughing! I have to say though, my favourite part was when McGonagall had cast a particularly BAMF-esque charm and then turned to Mrs. Weasley and said "I've always wanted to do that." Just, love.

I also fell completely in love with Luna. That whole character is just amazing. I especially loved it when they were staying at a safe house somewhere and she saw the beauty in the wind chime. I have always and hope I will always see beauty in the little things and I automatically love the people who do that. She is one of those people who sees things slightly differently to everyone else and that just helps everything and that quality is one that I admire a lot. I think she is one of my favourite characters.

So, they are my opinions on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. I wasn't going to go see the film until I'd properly caught up with the movies and re read all the books but I've kind of done that and I'm actually glad I experienced the film like that for the first time with my friends in a full cinema. 

After watching the film we went back to smart friend's house and had a sleepover. It was fun; we talked, we laughed, I woke up when no one else was awake as usual. It was also my 4th bithday celebration in 4 days. I feel slightly popular. It's weird having a social life...

Friday, 22 July 2011

Burn Baby Burn!

Yesterday us girls went over to one of our houses for a birthday/burning revision party. I hadn't seen some of my girls in at least 2 weeks and I missed them SO much and we always have fun when we're together so I was looking forward to it a lot! It didn't disappoint! As a group we are just completely crazy and within about 5 minutes I was laughing. Again, I forget what I was laughing at but I was laughing and laughter is fun, therefore laughter is good. We just kind of went a bit crazy then walked up to the chippy for tea and sang Going Back To Hogwarts on the way back. We decided that we're going to see the last Harry Potter on Saturday so we had a bit of a Harry Potter marathon while we were there.

After eating and watching Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone we went out and started the burning of revision in a BBQ! It was probably the most unsafe thing possible; six 16 year olds with matches, lighter fluid and a lot of paper. But no one died, or even got burned so it's all good! We must have spent at least an hour burning all our hard work for our GCSEs. It felt like a kind of goodbye, like it really was the end of them. I have to say though, throwing my revision folder on the fire as the very last thing felt great! We reduced our huge piles into a lump of ash and then went back in and watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban because apparently the second film is crap. Watching that produced the highlight of the night. Draco flew a picture that he'd drawn of Harry falling off his broom or something to him and we lost it. Completely, I still haven't fully gotten over it! This will only actually make sense to you if you've seen AVPM/S but it was hilarious! We sat there laughing for a good few minutes!

After watching that film we decided to just talk for a bit because there wasn't time to finish the next film before 5am. So we stayed up talking/laughing/telling stupid scary stories until about 4am. That was fun and once we eventually decided to go to sleep resulted in a bit of scaremongering. We managed to stay asleep until about 10:30 this morning, although I'd been dozing for a few hours before because I wake up with light (tres annoying). Once we were awake we had cake as breakfast and watched 2 more Harry Potter films and didn't go home until 3:30pmish! It was a good party!

Tomorrow we've got another friend's birthday party where we're watching the last Harry Potter so that should be just as fun!

I don't really have much else to say so I'm going to go....

Today was awesome because: Me and my friends didn't get dressed until her little brother was home from school!

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Holiday part 3 + my day!

For the last few days of our holiday we drove to Bishop Aukland which is near Durham. The Saturday we got there was the second StarKid live chat and I was excited because we were staying at a premiere inn with internet so I could watch it! One problem though; it cost quite a lot and didn't work very well. After a lot of cafuffle we finally got it working but it cut out part way though. But at least I got to see part of it and some amazing person put it on YouTube so I can see it over and over again! That was basically the first night there.

We only had one full day in Bishop Aukland so we went into Durham. Unfortunately I felt ill for the first hour or so when we were there so I couldn't fully appreciate it at first but after lunch I felt SO much better! Food seems to make me feel better at the moment! After lunch we walked around in the rain a bit then went into the big Cathedral that was built for a monk's grave...fancy stuff! It was nice and churchy and I don't have much else to say about it to be honest. After that we went into the museum library museum thing because it was raining and lets just say, it was dry. I kind of couldn't be bothered with it so I don't have that much else to say. Thankfully by the time we came out it was dry so we tried and failed to walk by the river then headed back to the car. On the way, however, we saw a spanish/litin american band playing on the street. That was amazing! it was about 6 guys playing brass instruments and a woman singing through a megaphone. I think that was the best part about it, the megaphone somehow gave the music the right feel and they were all so energetic it was just so..right. It really kind of reminded me how good street performers can often be! So, that was a good day!

Finally, the next day we were going home! I loved the holiday and everything but I truly am a home girl and I missed internet! We had planned to stop off at some other places on the way home but my mum wasn't feeling too well so we just went straight home.

That was my holiday! I had a good time and got to read a lot! I'm on HP 4!

So, now for my day today. I actually had a great day today! I had a social life for once! It was two of my friend's birthdays today and some of us went to the cinemas for one of them (we're having a book burning party for the other one tomorrow). It was great. I haven't seen my friends in so long and I miss them! One of my friends said she needed to talk to me so we met up earlier and walked up together then went into ASDA where we met up with the rest of our group (except 1 who we met later). I got one of the biggest hugs in the world and the lolz started happening. Oh how I love my friends. So we bought our tickets then headed into the cinemas, but not before I lost my ticket. About 5 minutes after buying it. Then emptied my bag into my friend's hands and found it. That'll teach me not to put a ticket in my huge bag! We were early so just kind of sat talking in the cinema for a while. As always , lolz happened. I have to say, the highlight of the day was sitting there with my friends laughing uncontrollably for at least 10 minutes straight on my lonesome. What I was laughing at I forget but it was very funny (I think, or I might just have been laughing at my laughing) and my friends laughing at me and telling me to stop didn't help. Seriously, I have no idea what made me laugh, my friend said something and I lost it. I can't even think about it without nearly laughing! But hey, laughter is always fun! The film was bad and too long! In my opinion, anyway. It was nearly 3 freaking hours! Oh well, at least I got to spend time with my friends!

My friends are freaks by the way. I love them for that.

Tomorrow us girls are having a burning books party to celebrate a birthday and leaving school in once! It's a sleepover so no blog tomorrow! It's hard having a social life you know...

Today was awesome because: I saw my friends! I had lolz! I had hugs! <<<< 3 of my favourite things right there!

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Holiday. Part 2

I was going to do one big blog about my holiday but then last night I couldn't shut up so here's part 2...

On the Saturday I don't think I woke up for the whole day, I was just kind of asleep all day, we were travelling to Beadnell most of the day though so it didn't matter too much. We stopped in Alnwick for lunch and a bit of shopping then we went to our new accommodation. I think the only way to describe that house is interesting. Outside made our cottage look a lot bigger than it was but the downstairs was okay, apart from the tiny television but the upstairs was weird. The bathroom had a bath and a set of pipes that you had to use for a shower but they weren't long enough so you had to sit down. Having a shower sat down Also, my mum's bedroom door opened to cover mine, so that was fun! That night we had tea at the nearest pub which was busy but still nice.

The next day we went into Seahouses again and walked around and had lunch there and stuff then we went to Bamburgh for a bit. It was interesting going to Bamburgh because I went on a residential there in year 4. Being there brought back some memories but also reminded me of how much I forget from primary school but all round it was pretty good! After walking round a bit we sat on the beach reading until it started to rain so we sat in the car reading for a bit instead.After starting to walk along the beach and then getting rained on again we decided to just go back to our house then had tea at the same pub. Over these past 2 days I managed to finish Harry Potter 2 and so we watched a bit of the tiny TV which decided it was black and white for a bit. By the way, black and white makes everything a lot more dramatic!

The next day we went to a village called Craster and looked around Dunstanbrugh castle which was interesting. It was the first day of good weather we had so the walk from Craster to the castle was pretty nice! The castle was nice, again I was marveling at the fact that some people actually lived in that place the whole time. After that we drove to Newton Upon The sea (or Upper Newton or Lower Newton; I'm not sure which) and sat on the beach reading again. We were going to go to the pub there for tea but it was reservation only and only between 7 and 8 so we gave up and went to find tea in Seahouses. We ended up having tea at an Indian restaurant where I ordered chicken nuggets and felt incredibly silly and got teased by the waiter.

As it was another nice day we decided to go on a boat trip to the farne islands the next day. Basically, they're islands that birds go to breed on in the summer and people visit them. After quite a rough journey we arrived on the one you're allowed to go on. Lets just say, birds birds everywhere! That trip gave me a new found respect/fear for birds, seeing a lot in one place and seeing people/my mum being attacked by some and getting attacked once myself does that. I'm very glad I wore my hoodie that day! That pretty much took up most of the day and I think we had tea at the pub in Beadnell again but I can't quite remember.

The next day was another nice day so we went to a place called Cragside. Basically it's a big garden that a big inventor/designer made and his house. It was a really nice place! The only word I can think to describe the gardens is that they were very English, I don't know another way to describe it but it was a nice place. We explored the gardens a bit then went into the house. The house was as nice as the gardens! Usually I think the old hoses are a bit fancy and you can't really imagine anyone living there but this one everyone seemed to agree that you could really imagine this house being lived in. After looking round and having an ice cream we went home and had tea somewhere (not a clue where) and read a bit, as you can see we got into a bit of a routine!

We were feeling lazy the next day so we just had a beach day at Beadnell. That included shorts, reading and sunburn. In that order. It was a very sunny day which we spent lying on the beach reading. It doesn't sound like much but it was nice and made my white legs slightly less white so it's all good! To finish off a lovely summer day we had fish and chips (or chicken nuggets and chips, in my case) on the beach. So, overall it was a good day!

For our last day we went to Alnwick castle which was used as Hogwarts in the first movie, we saw where they learnt how to fly! We went into the castle first, this was okay. It's still lived in and it seemed a bit like they were showing off, as if they were trying to make it clear to everyone that they still lived there and it was a bit of a "look what we have" place. Maybe it was just the contrast between it and Cragside but it was just weird. Also, they didn't seem to want to draw a lot of attention to the Harry Potter connection, I feel like they could have made a lot more of it. There was one sign to show where they learnt how to fly but nothing else really. After looking round the house we walked around the grounds then headed into the town for a bit. On the way there we saw a game of muggle quidditch which was awesome! We walked round the town then went to look at the gardens. They were nicer than the house but were still quite fancy. There was a lot of water features! For our last tea of Beadnell we went back to the pub.

That was the end of our time in Beadnell. The holiday blogs will continue and end tomorrow!

Yesterday I forgot to add what our time around Hexam gave to me. I have found out how fun the long country roads are! There is something so satisfying about seeing a long road streching out in front of you then going up and down on all the little hills! I don't know, its just so...satisfying.

Monday, 18 July 2011

Why hello there

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"
That has certainly been the case for me over this past 12 days. You have no idea how much I have missed writing, I don't think I have ever felt as big of an urge to write than I did after just one day away from any way to write my thoughts down. It's incredible, even when I wanted to be an author I never wanted to write that much, I have no idea why, but from the journey away I was desperate to write. So, this will be me making up for lot time!

So, on the 6th of July me and my mum set out, with a packed car, towards Low Gate (a small village very near Hexam). We drove for a bit with some amusing happenings, one when we saw a van for Bilabong Plumbing which I found hilarious because I always find silly, little things funny. At about 4pm we arrived at the B&B we would be staying at for a few days, I really liked that place. It was an old barn conversion and an alpaca farm. They also had 2 dogs who liked to great you every time you left or arrived and a few cats which you hardly saw. Once we arrived and got our bags in etc. we went into Hexam for tea. It was a bit early so we walked around for a bit and saw a street with the name Priestpopple (which amused me) before going to a nice indian restaurant for tea. When we got back to the B&B one of the owners asked if we'd like to go and meet the alpacas because he was just going to feed them, so we did. Alpacas are kind of a cross between llamas and horses with very long necks and very soft fur. That was our first holiday day and I spent a lot of it thinking "I need to write about this in my blog" so here you go!

The next day we visited one of my mum's cousins she hadn't seen in years. That was fun, I mainly just listened to everyone speaking but it was nice and it felt like I was getting to know my mum better. We had lunch there and then went to Corbridge; an old roman settlement. That was good, they have a good audio guide and I discovered that I really was interested in finding out more, something I don't think I would have been a couple of years ago. I still can't get my head around the fact that people lived there. The place we were walking through that looked like just stones were once houses, places where people had their whole lives. I don't think I'll ever truly be able to get my head around that and I can't help but wonder what the people who lived there would think if they knew we were looking round their town thousands of years after they made it. Once we had done the audio guide and looked round the museum we went in search of tea. This proved to be harder than it sounds and we managed to get lost and, again, have some laughs. My mum especially liked it when I told her to "go whichever way you want" I love my mum! We ended up going to a pub that was quite literally in the middle of nowhere. The food was nice but there was a lot of it and, having also had a big breakfast, I was stuffed! While we were eating a group of morris dancers appeared and started practicing in the middle of the road to get out so, trying to leave was fun. We discovered that morris dancers look very silly when you can't hear the music they're dancing to!

The next day we did more roman history stuff. We went for a walk along a bit of Hadrian's Wall during which I came to the conclusion that I am an old woman at heart, I certainly act like one! From there we went to Vindolanda which is a roman excavation site where they are constantly having digs. It was really interesting as this one was more of a village and fort so you saw where normal people would live. The people who are digging are volunteers and I it's now one of the many things on my I'd-like-to-do-but-don't-know-if-I-ever-will list. I can't actually remember much else about that day but I know that I enjoyed it!

That was our stay in Hexam. I was going to do the whole holiday today but I'm not going to have time so I will continue it tomorrow!

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Last blog for a while :(

As you can tell from the title, this will be my last blog for a while, about 13 days, to be exact. I'm going away tomorrow and, even though I'm staying in the country, I will be without internet (sadface). I really think I'm going to be away at the worst possible time though. While I am away there is the Harry Potter premiere (which I found out today Joe Walker and Darren Criss will be at), the release of the final film and LeackyCon. Yes, I am sad about missing these things because of StarKid. I wasn't too bothered about the HP premiere until today but finding out that those two would be there made me jealous, seriously I think the room will explode out of immense awesomeness on that day! I'm more disappointed about the other two though. A week or so ago I wouldn't have been bothered about the release of the final HP but now, thanks to tumblr, I have discovered the amazing community around Harry Potter and I wish I could see people's reactions when they see the movie. I just love seeing people happy. I am probably most upset about missing LeakyCon, though. I would have loved to go but I know that's not possible and if I was at home with internet then I could watch videos as they were posted and feel like I'm experiencing it with everyone else, rather than after everyone else which is something I haven't been able to do yet. Oh well, I guess there'll be other times I can do that! I'm a bit upset about missing these things but the videos will still be there when I get back so I'm staying positive about it!

That big essay might not look like me staying positive but I had to get it out somewhere...

I mentioned in a previous blog that I was writing an email to Julia Albain and, after a day of writing it in word, I sent it to her yesterday evening. It was an essay. And by essay I mean 800+ words, more than some of my courseworks at school. I had a lot to say to her. I have been checking my emails obsessively since I sent it and, although I don't expect an instant reply, I really hope she reads it and replies. I just had to tell her how much her book meant to me, I hope I've conveyed that well enough. I have a feeling that the email turned into something like one of my blog posts but oh well, that's me.

As I've mentioned before, I'm currently reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone for the second time and I'm loving it! I can't believe I didn't appreciate it when I was younger. I'm making up for lost time now! I was very young when I first read them; my mum read the first few to me in bed! I didn't watch the films because when I was younger I didn't like the cinema and was a wimp so I have some making up to do now!

Today I got an email from the people I'm volunteering with in August and got the dates I'm going to be helping out and everything. I'm really looking forward to it! There is a volunteer induction day later on this month and I discovered that they don't have anything on Wednesdays. That'll be good because I'll have 2 days in, 1 day of, 2 days in and 2 days off. In short, I'll still be able to be on holiday a bit! I think doing this will show me whether I really want be work with children with special needs because, apart from work experience, I'll be experiencing what I will be in my job for the first time. Everyone I've talked to has said that I'll love the experience and I really hope so, if not I'll be stuck for a career! I'll be doing BEDA while volunteering so I'll be able to share the experience and keep a record of how it's going. I'm looking forward to August!

I've just looked over the title of my blog and realized how dramatic it sounds! It sounds like I'm giving up on blogging for a bit or something but I'm not, I promise!

Today was awesome because: When I was home alone the washing was out and I was in charge of looking out for the washing if it rained. It rained and I had to dash out to get it inside, while it was raining. It's surprisingly fun to run about in the rain, even if you are on your own! I've danced in rain before and it was one of the funnest things I have ever done, seriously everyone should try it!

Quote of the day:
"I write to just say the things that I need to say"
Julia Albain
This is exactly why I write in this blog, it just sums everything I think about my writing.

Sunday, 3 July 2011

My head.

So, my last blog was pathetic. I had planned to do a big recap of everything that happened but it got late so I just wrote some rubbish down and put some pictures in. Sorry. So, I'm going to to a promcap (yes, I'm a nerd and that makes me happy). As most girls did, I spent the whole day getting ready. I basically relaxed until 2pm when we went to the hairdressers to get my hair done (well duh) which was fun. I was a bit iffy because I didn't bother with make up and lenses so I was looking bad and was blind. But it was all good. I actually love how my hair worked out in the end! After the hairdressers my mum went and picked my friend, Sally, up so that she could get ready at ours. We did our make up and got in our dresses on etc. together and it was really fun! By the time Sally and I were done our other friends were arriving and getting ready. We had picture times and then, at 6:30 our limo arrived. We went out and had another picture time before getting into the limo and having an hours fun raving (ey oh we're in a limo) we arrived at the hotel that prom was held at. By the way, getting out of a limo is fun when you're in a floor length dress, all part of the fun I guess! After another, shorter, picture time we headed inside where most of our year was already there but that was okay. After a few minutes we were told to go in and take our seats which we did (we were on table 11, in case you were wondering) and we began our meal. Loads of people last year complained about the food but everyone on our table thought it was great! After some lolz (Brioni commenting on how cute our waiter was when he was right there and Prince Harry serving people) the meal was over and the dancing/queuing for pictures started. After waiting for ages we got some professional photographs and giving up on buying one because the que for that was huge and cramped and we can get them on the website we gave up and went for a bit of a dance. Dancing is pretty hard in heels and long dresses so after doing the macarena we went and collapsed in seats. We took some photos, danced a bit more (reach for the stars and a steps song came on , we couldn't resist) and laughed at (drunk) teachers dancing. It was a good night! We were one of the few groups who got a limo back home so once the last song was played we went out to look for our limwo. Another, shorter this time, rave and we were home! The two boys in our group went home and us girls had a sleepover. I actually didn't want to get out of the limo/out of my dress by the end of the night but it had to be done. We actually slept more at a sleepover than we have before and it was kind of fun. Just being with my best friends was great!

I had to write all that out because I really never want to forget that night. I've kind of got this irrational fear of forgetting it so I wrote it all down here just to be sure...

Also, on Thursday I got Julia Albain's book (A Glamorously Unglamorous Life) in the post but couldn't read it because I had to get on and get ready. I finished it on Friday though and it's amazing! I recommend it to everyone, even if you're not a StarKid it's definitely worth reading! I can't get over how amazing she is, she has inspired me so much: I am now more motivated to do things and not just sit here and do nothing. It also made me want to write a lot more. The book stemmed from the blog she kept while in New York and that has made me want to write on here even more. I don't think I can explain how I feel about her book properly but I'm trying! She has had the best experiences and has the best friends and I kind of feel like if I have half of the experiences she had in NY I will have a good life and learn a lot. I just hope I can have the opportunity to learn as much as she did! I am planning on writing her an email to tell her how amazing she is but I'm not sure quite how to without sounding creepy or gushing too much. I'll work it out!

A few days ago this amazing video was posted on a StarKid group on facebook. The link is: if you like StarKid then you'll love this! It is seriously the ultimate StarKid thing. Denise Donovan has already seen it and I think they all need to see it! It basically sums up exactly how I feel about Team StarKid. Just the whole thing is just wow. I love this fandom too much for words. I think I can honestly say that Team StarKid have changed my life.

In news slightly related to that, I have started Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone. I gave up on To Kill a Mockingbird because it was overdue at the library and I felt bad and wasn't enjoying it. I might pick it up again sometime but for now I'm starting on Harry Potter! I'm really getting into the book at the moment and I can't wait to watch the films! My friends will definitely be proud!

I've mentioned it before in my blog but I'm going to really explain it today because I feel like it's kind of special. So in our garden we have a cherry tree, some raspberry bushes (I think they're bushes) and a blackcurrant bush. This year we've had A LOT of fruit from them and I've actually really enjoyed picking it! I don't know what it is, there's just something about being outside as a lovely summer's day is ending picking fruit that has been grown in your garden. It just feels good. The fruit's nice as well, so that's a bonus! I hope I can have a nice garden with fruit trees in when I'm settled down in my own house with a family etc. I guess it's one of those things I want my kids to have...

As you can tell from the title, this blog really was just what is in my head at the moment. But I guess that's my blog! It is called a teenager talking to herself after all!

Today was awesome because: I didn't really do anything! I need these days every now and again.
Yesterday was awesome because: I went into Jane Norman which has gone into liquidation and so had a sale on and they just had really loud music playing. It kind of felt like a goodbye party. Don't ask me why, but it made me smile.

Lyrics of the day:
We all have a story to tell 
He Is We - Happily ever after

Friday, 1 July 2011


It was prom yesterday and it was a really great night! We got a limo there and back which was possibly the best part of the night, we basically raved the whole time. I honestly think I could have stayed in there all night and been very happy. This is probably quite sad but oh well. It was a great way to end our high school education but I really couldn't do it every year! We ate our meal, got a lot of pictures and even danced a bit! The meal was surprisingly nice and everyone looked so stunning! As I've said before it was a great night but I kept expecting to see my friend, Dan who is on holiday so couldn't come (sadface). It kind of felt wrong that he wasn't there but I've decided that we're going to do something after results day!

Here are some pictures because I like picture blogs...

Those were some of my favourite pictures.

Afterwards we had a sleepover which was good, I love my friends so much! But I'm kind of tired now so I'm going to go to bed...