BEDA Day 1: A bit of an introduction...

So, it's August! It's come around quick, yet slowly at the same time...even though that doesn't make much sense but, hey, that's me!

I haven't really updated here in a while because I just felt like I needed a bit of a break. I felt like I wasn't writing what I wanted to write in here and I just needed to stop for a bit. I still wrote, just in my private journal not on here. I don't know why, writing in this blog just wasn't helping, it was just confusing me more. Part of it might have been the fact that this is published for people to read and I want people to read it, it was just that I wasn't producing what I though was readable writing. If that makes any sense. So a wrote about 5 pages in my diary, taking me almost an hour but helping me unbelievably. So, that's what's been happening in those 5 days I didn't blog properly...I know 5 days isn't much for most bloggers but it seems like ages to me.

As you can probably tell I'm doing BEDA (blog every day in August). I don't know whether BEDA/VEDA is done as much in August as it is in April but, since I failed at it in April, I'm trying it out! I hope doing this will improve my writing. I've heard through a lot of people that the only way to improve your writing is to write so I'm taking their advice. I don't know how or when but I've really started to love writing and now it's something I'd like to explore further. Those are my reasons for doing this...

Thinking about it, today was a lot of firsts: the 1st of August; my first day volunteering; the first day of getting our bathroom redone and (of course) the first day of BEDA! I've mentioned volunteering before and it's something I was really nervcited about (a word I made up, a cross between nervous and excited) starting. My hopeful future job is to be a teacher in a special school so I'm volunteering with a local holiday play scheme for 4-19 year olds this summer to gain experience and make sure that this is really what I want to do. As I've mentioned, it was my first day today and I can't really say much more than that because of confidentiality stuff. I really enjoyed it though and I'm glad because I'm more sure of what I want to do but I may not think that way after four weeks of it so we'll see what happens!

As I mentioned above, it was the first day of us getting my bathroom re done today. In a way it's kind of weird for me because I have, literally, grown up in that bathroom. My parents got it done before I was born and it's more or less stayed the same throughout my life. The change table my parents used when I was a baby was still there and I think we might be putting it back, I'm not sure. Getting my bathroom redone is a bit like saying goodbye to a part of my childhood. Being involved in the Harry Potter fandom on tumblr has lead me to think more about the ending of my/our childhoods as a lot of people say the end of their childhood was the end of the Harry Potter film. It just got me thinking, we're all growing up and it's inevitable that we will have things that seem like they end our childhood because they were such a big part of our lives. When I was a child I didn't like watching movies and things like that so for me it's places and people who make up my childhood, places like my house and my primary school.

First day of BEDA: done! This wasn't really a blog about a lot, it was just some of my thoughts about stuff.

Today was awesome because: I walked home from volunteering.

Last blog of May!

So, it's the last day/blog of May! I can't believe its June tomorrow, thats just insane! It feels like May has only just begun but, at the same time it fees like the 1st May was forever ago! That always seems to happen at the moment...

So, because it's June tomorrow I thought I'd tell you about my summer plans! You know, because June is meant to equal summer and all. I mentioned a bit about my summer plans in my last blog but I decided to go into more detail because, well I don't know why, just because it gives me something to write about!

As you (probably) know, I am currently in the middle of my exams. My last exam is 15th June and I can not wait for it to be over! My last exam is Biology and I'm not too worried about it to be honest, I like Biology the most and I have about a week to revise just for that. But once its over I think I'm going to be so bored! Literally all I do is revise at the moment and I'm not going to know what to do with myself actually, expect more blogage out of boredom!

Two days after my last exam me and my mum are doing the starlight walk. The starlight walk is something that St. Roco's Hospice (where my dad was in the last few weeks of his life) does to raise money. It is a ladies only walk in the middle of the night and I think the whole thing is half a marathon. That should be fun, I'm expecting to be absolutely knackered and sore afterwards. I probably need to start getting in training but revision is my excuse for now! So, that should be fun and I'm glad I'm raising money for a good cause!

Then, in July I'm going on holiday with my mum for a week and a bit. Other than that I don't have any plans for July. I'm kind of looking forward to not doing anything in that month.

August will hopefully be a good month for me! I am planning on trying BEDA for the second time since I'm definatley going to be around in that month. I am also hoping/planning on volunteering with WASC (a charity that does summer/after school clubs for children with disabilities. I have contacted them and they said there is a program from 1st-27th August that I could help out with. They just need to contact me about training programs I need to do. That should be fun! I think that my BEDA for August will be better that for April because a) I won't be revising so I'll have more time to blog and b) I will actually be doing something I love (hopefully) which I can blog about.

So, that should be my summer! Expect those things to come.

This was kind of a hi, I'm going to talk about what I want to talk about, bye blog. Just a random one!

Today was awesome because: I met up with one of my best friends!

A blog of thoughts...

The other day I watched a film called Julie/Julia. If you haven't seen the film, its about a woman who decides to cook everything in a famous cook's book in a year and she writes a blog about it. It's a really good film but I was most interested in her blog. It looked like she was using blogspot for it and it was really interesting to see her write her blog (in around 2002) and see how old fashioned blogger looked. I love blogging and I love this website so it was just so cool to me to see how it was years ago compared to how it was know. I think blogger has changed a lot now, I don't know whether its necessarily completely for good or not, blogger certainty seems to be a lot less active than it was a few years ago. Moral of the story: blogger seems to have changed, this was a random, pointless paragraph...

This may sound really weird and maybe a bit selfish/self obsessed but I honestly feel like my mind works in a very different way to a lot of people's do. I don't know why, I just notice the weirdest things, as I was talking about in that first paragraph. I don't know why, I just kind of seem to see the things that others don't. I'm often way more concerned about watching the supporting actors or the chorus in films/shows/tv programs. The behind the scenes stuff and the lives of actors in my favourite shows is what I like most. I'm also completely fascinated by people's relationships with each other, when I'm out in public etc. I always try to work out the relationships between people, if there's 2 people sat together I always try and work out if they're siblings/friends/family/in a relationship. I guess its just something I've always done/ That probably says a lot about me, I've no idea what but it probably does. It's just something I wanted to say.

I have officially now finished school since September which is very weird for me. I have such a long time off, after 15th June I actually don't have anything I have to do! I'm going to be so bored! I can't wait! This summer is hopefully going to be a good one! After prom I'm having a month where I'm completely on holiday but then in August I'm hopefully going to be volunteering with a charity for children with special needs for the whole month. Sometime in these months I plan to get a social life! Leaving school will hopefully have a good effect on my life. So, they are my plans for the next few months, I just felt the need to say them on here!

Recently, someone I look up to on YouTube has been talking about this book/blog called 100 awesome things, if you haven't seen it, have a look now. It's basically something to remind people of the awesome things in life. This is why I do my "Today was awesome because" at the end of my blog. Today I have a few from these few days that I'm going to share with you:

Awesome things in the past few days:

• I got new headphones on Friday!
• On Friday, me and Dan (see my last blog, it mentions him) were walking around school and started singing Pigfarts, pigfarts here I come, pigfarts pigfarts yum yum yum. The corridors were mostly empty but just as we got into it a teacher walked by. The look on his face was priceless!
• Today someone put something I thought was really cool (you might even say awesome) on twitter. The said our generation (people born in 1993-1999) have lived in three decades, two centuries, and two millenniums and we're not even 18 yet. That is just one of the best things I have heard in a long time and it makes me happy to hear it!
• Today I bought £30 worth of clothes! For the first time since nersury I won't be wearing a uniform at least some days out of the week. I don't have enough clothes for that! I only had 2 pairs of jeans (I only ever wear jeans) so I bought 2 more today! I also managed to get a dress, so that is why my day was awesome today! 

Type like I talk. Type the wrong words.

Random title. Fun times. So, I blogged yesterday and I'm also blogging today, thats big stuff! So, what's happened in the last 2 days (since yesterday was a blog from the day before). I feel the need for a list! What happened in the past few days:

• On Friday, I went bowling with some friends
• I took 124 pictures at this bowling
• I realized I say so way to much!
• We had to scrap our costume idea and come up with a new costume idea
• We went to town to get stuff for our costumes
• I revised, but not as much as I should have

So, I'll start with what happened with our costumes for celebration day. Our rubick's cube idea needed 8 people for it to work and one person dropped out of our group so we had to come up with another idea. But we did so its all good! We have decided to be angles because most of the teachers like us and it's the only thing we could think of. So, yeah, that's what we are going for celebration day! 

Today we went to town and got wings/dresses for it. So I think most of the costume is sorted! 

Yesterday a group of us went bowling with a youth club we go to and we had a really good time! I'm going to put some of my favourite pictures on here because I can.

This is everyone who was there, not that many people but they're kind of my best friends and I love them!

My friend, Beth, being her usual dirty minded self, this is why I lover her!

My new name, Kahryn. Pronounced a bit like Karen in a Welsh accent (you have to pronounce the H.

A weird picture of me that I strangely like.

Me and Chloe, my friend I've known since I was 4.

Dan with "his precious" bowling ball (It was the smallest, lightest one we got and was just right for me)

Me, kissing my friend, Emma's, cheek. Because I love her.

A picture of the bumper cars we went on. These included me managing to hit my teeth with my camera. Fun!

So, that was my night in pictures. I took a lot! It was a fun night and I love taking pictures when me and my friends are together to remind me of the good times we had when I'm all old and stuff.

Today was awesome because: I bought some nail polish that cracks and looks really cool!

So, yeah, I suck, once again...

I know I promised you I'd blog before I went away and I didn't. Yes, I suck. I don't know why, I just haven't been inspired to blog recently so I figured that if I took a break I'd come back liking it more. I haven't really been inspired but I want to force myself to blog more because, when I can, I really enjoy it. Its not just my blog, I have kind of abandoned DailyBooth as well, I need to get more internety again! So, I'm going to try. Its going to be hard around my GCSEs but I'm definitely going to get better at it once my exams are over and I actually have time that isn't taken up by revision/putting off revision/relaxing from revision. As you can see, my life is kind of taken up by revision at the moment. So, my blogs may not be interesting but they will be blogs!

While I haven't been blogging I've been in Barcelona, searching for prom shoes and, as you can guess, revising. Barcelona was good, I really miss the great weather now I'm back in miserable old England. It was quite nice weather today though, so hopefully we brought the good weather back with us! In Barcelona we did all the tourist buses, sightseeing, shopping and holding on to our bags because of all the pick pocket scare-stories. Fun times. I missed the internet terribly and worried about the revision I should have been doing that my mum would not let me do. As you can tell, revision for GCSEs is pretty much taking over my life and I have promised myself that I'm going to sacrifice my social life for revision if I have to. I really want good results, so I am forcing myself to be motivated.

Honestly, one of main the reasons I am working so hard is probably because my friends (especially one of my best friends who's in all my lessons) are very smart and work very hard and get good results. I know I should want to succeed for my own benefit only but I know I'm not. I just can't help myself. I guess its not such a bad thing that something is motivating me to revise, but I hate how much I am influenced by other people. I guess thats just human nature but I do wish I could be a bit more individual. Maybe I'll just grow out of it but it's something I have to live with or change, I haven't decided yet. I guess it'll make me a better person in time so we'll just wait and see I guess.

I had a few huge paragraphs here and blogger decided not to save it and to mess up when I decided to publish it. So, lets try this again...

Yesterday was full of revision and general nothingness while my mum was in town. I should have blogged but I didn't, I'm sorry! I've kind of been very tired all the time. Today we had our keyboard lesson where I found out that I failed my music theory exam I did a while a go. I was kind of gutted about it but I'm okay about it now. I think it might be the only proper exam I have failed. I guess I have to fail some time. But that is another thing that has made me more motivated. After that we went prom shoe shopping. We started out at Windsors where we didn't find anything so moved on to Maccys, Next and M & S for lunch and more shopping. We found some possible shoes and a possible bag at Next but didn't buy either of them. The shoes were really pretty, they just didn't fit very well and the heel was a bit too small for me. I really really liked the bag we found but were not too sure about whether it would go with my dress or not so decided to leave it for now. We did get my bra at M & S though! I'm sure you're all very interested in that. I need my bra and shoes by the time my dress comes and needs fitting in May which, surprisingly, isn't that far away.

So, girly part over now and I can't remember what else I wrote about now so I'm going to finish off. I think I am going to try to do this daily from now on but if I can't cope I won't but I will blog at least once a week, hopefully more and my good blogs will be at weekends, just so you know.

Today was awesome because: I got a prom bra!

Day 2 :)

So, I don't have an interesting title for this blog, so I'm just going to call it day 2. I really have an urge to make BEDA a more creative thing where I talk about stuff other than just my day, I think it will make my blog a lot better in the end. I'm not too sure what exactly I will be writing about, I just know I need to do something better, so I just thought I'd inform you of that. In the meantime I will just talk about my day while I figure it out.

So, most of my day was spent at the hairdressers getting my hair done. It literally takes hours to do my hair which sucks but I like it so I can live with it. They managed to get some die on to my white top, that did not impress, as you can guess. But its all okay, it washed out. Other than that I haven't done much, I attempted to revise but gave up after doing one subject (I'm meant to do at least 2 a day) but I'll just have to do extra tomorrow. My holiday isn't going to be much of a holiday, I know it because I have so much revision and school work to do. But its worth it and I get 3 months off school in the summer! So, in conclusion, its all good!

Ever since I got this blog I have been considering starting a separate blog for all my YouTube fan girling thoughts but I don't know because I figure I might as well do it here as something I can talk about quite well (I think) so it might make this blog a bit more interesting. Honestly, this blog post is just kind of me talking about what this blog is about. I have come to the conclusion that this blog is just my thoughts and a random place where I can talk to and about myself.

So, a weird blog post today but a blog post non the less. That is always good!

Today was awesome because: It was a lazy day!

BEDAMDIIS Day 1 :)

So, its April 1st, that means a few things:

• It's April fools day!
• I am going to Barcelona!
• It's 24 days till my birthday!
• My version of BEDA begins!

That was a lot of exclamation points! The main reason I use exclamation points instead of smiley faces because I feel like smiley faces look silly in blogs and things like that. Just thought I'd explain that. I'm kind of excited for April, apart from the revision, this month should be quite good.

So, today was the last day of term at school and it was kind of just a day. I have been staying behind after school every single day every week because of revision or drama practice so that is fun. Its okay though, its good for my GCSEs. So, that was fun, walking home was tiring but good for me. Nothing interesting has happened today really. Only one April fool happened that I witnessed and that wasn't even to me or from me, so just a normal day really.

I am sorry that my first BEDA blog was kind of boring, it will get better I promise!

Today was awesome because: someone in my class got sent to the prep room for a big weight and a long stand.

Stuff, stuff, stuff

So, I'm blogging in the week! I know, wow, what a shock! I just wanted to say some things, because I felt like it. I have decided 2 things in the past few days. Number 1, I am going to be kind of doing BEDA (blog every day in april) this April and number 2, I am now determined to go to at least one YouTube meet up in my lifetime.

Now for the explaining part.

BEDA comes from the YouTube thing VEDA (vlog every day in april) and, because I'm not good enough at YouTube to do it, I have decided to do it for my blog instead, just completely copying Kristina Horner. One problem, I will be going to Spain for a few days in April so I probably won't be able to blog on those days. So I will be doing BEDA minus the days that I'm in April. So BEDAMDIIS. But I'm probably just going to call it BEDA. I don't know We'll see how it goes. Hopefully this will make me better at writing. I admire the people who can write properly on their blogs and stuff so hopefully I will become a better blogger soon.

I have become determined to go to a YouTube gathering and meet at least some of my favorite YouTubers. This ambition has come about because of all the videos I have seen about Playlist Live and it just seems so much fun and I hate that I can't go to any of the big YouTube gatherings because I live in the UK and all the gatherings I hear about are in the US. Its kind of annoying and I really hope that suggestions for VidCon to be in the UK in 2012 are accepted because it would just be amazing!

As you can probably tell, a lot of my life/ambitions are influenced by YouTube. Its kind of bad probably. Oh well, I have made a vow to myself that I am going to make some decent stuff on YouTube because I love the community on there. I don't have time to focus on YouTube right now so that is why I am planning to do it in the Summer because I feel like then I will have time to focus on it.

Today was awesome because: Maths revision finished early because of a fire alarm!

I Fail :D

Yes, as the title says, I fail. On my last blog I said that the day before was 20.2.11, it wasn't, that was on Sunday, so that was my first fail. My second fail was not blogging yesterday. There is a reason for this, it isn't I very good excuse, but I have one! So, I had a good day yesterday, I had some fun at school and stuff but that night I got told I think about London too much. I know it shouldn't have but it kind of put me in a bed mood. I'm not even sure why, I just think I over reacted and overthought as usual. I don't know, it just kind of got to me, but I've moved on now!

Today was good. School was school, but fun school so its all good! The weather was really nice which always puts me in a better mood! Laughs happened, lessons happened and nothing else happened, things just sound better in threes! Also, today I went to my last ever grade 5 music theory lesson. I'm glad that its my last one 'cause I don't enjoy them but it does mean that the exam is 1 week today and I'm slightly scared that I'll fail. I'm honestly not sure if I will pass or not, I hope I will 'cause otherwise I might have to do it all over again. Oh well, what happens happens

Tomorrow its choices but I'm not really looking forward to it, hardly anyone is going this time. But you never know, it might be good. We'll just have to wait and see!

Today was awesome because: I had fun!

So yeah...

I want new people in my life. Don't get me wrong, I love the friends I have at the moment I just don't feel like I really connext with a lot of people. There isn't anyone who I feel I can be totally myself with. I really want to make internet friends, it seems they are the best kind of friends but its hard for me. I don't know why I feel like this, I just do and I hate it. It might be a good thing though, it might help me to meet some amazing new people, who knows. I guess what happens will happen in the end...

I wrote that little emo-ness this morning when I was feeling pretty down but I do tend to feel like that a lot so I just thought I'd share it with you. It came about because I was watching Kristina Horner's (italktosnakes) videos and she just seems to have so many great people in my life and it just made me think. Another thing that provoked that is that one of my best friends just got a boyfriend and they're all loved up so I'm feeling kind of lonely right now. I have been single for almost a year now and I miss having someone. But I guess when its the right time I will find someone.

So, moving on from that, I had a pretty average, boring day today. I didn't go to church today, mainly because I stayed up till about 1am last night so got up late this morning. Oh well, its part of being a teenager right? They didn't need me anyway! So I have been on YouTube and doing homework all day today and I have made a desicion - I am going to become a better YouTuber. As soon as my exams are over. I just really want to be part of that amazing comuntity. I just wish I could go to some of the gatherings and stuff but I live in the wrong place and am not old enough to fly out there so I'm just going to have to make do! I can live with that.

I am weirdly kind of looking forward to going to school tomorrow, I kind of miss it. Not the work part, just the friends part. Not seeing my friends this month is not good, but that will change tomorrow!

Today was awesome because: I wore my Internet Killed Television top!