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I'm just trying to figure out this journey we call life

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Harry Potter

Since becoming part of the StarKid fandom I have become a bit involved in the Harry Potter fandom. There's no way you can't do so if you're on tumblr. I didn't truly grow up with Harry Potter. I read the books once when they came out but didn't go to see the movies for many reasons. So I knew the story and I heard about the films but I never watched them. I still haven't seen the sixth film. A lot of people grew up with Harry Potter. Harry Potter has always been their life. I wish I was like that.

But, even though I didn't grow up with Harry Potter in the way most people did I still grew up with Harry Potter, everyone my age did. Most people read the books growing up. Most people watched the movies. A lot of people loved them so much and they shaped their lives. A lot of people also read the books, watched the movies and that was it. A few people never read Harry Potter, never saw the movies, didn't care about them.

No matter which category you fall into Harry Potter still changed your life in some way. It couldn't not. Each time a new book or a new film was released the whole world knew about it. If you left the house or watched TV or were on the internet at any point, you'd know there was a new Harry Potter event coming up. You heard about it, you most likely knew people who loved the series and were extremely excited about it. So it affected your life. It just did. If you were born in the 90s you knew about Harry Potter and it affected your life in some way.

Harry Potter is a book series that changed the world. Just by existing and having fans. It's changed so many people's lives and so many people are connected by it. It's a fact of life now.

Thursday, 24 November 2011

Some feelings

I'm happy. I'm extremely happy. Because he feels the same way. Because he's my best friend and it could be perfect. Because I love him, in many ways. Because it started a while a go. Because people say we'd be cute together. Because I finally found out and I was right. I'm confused. Because I just don't know how I feel. Because I never know how I feel. Mostly I'm scared. Scared that I'll hurt him. Scared that I'll loose him. Scared of what could happen. Scared I'll ruin everything because I know he would never hurt me. Scared because it's different. I'm unsure about everything. I have so many questions. But I don't know if I want to know the answers. I don't know what I'm feeling properly. I never do. If you know me in real life can you just pretend you haven't seen this please? This was just something I had to get out somewhere.

Monday, 21 November 2011


Every year, in the end of year assembly before our summer holidays the head of my school would say the same thing. He would talk for a long time about communities and what they were and how our school was. Every year I would ignore it. But recently, I've been thinking a lot about communities and today I realized that I've been thinking basically the same thing he told us every year, the same thing I ignored every year. If I could remember what he said I'd put it here but I can't, so I'm going to put it in my own words in an attempt to convey my meaning best I can.

I believe that we are all part of communities. We might not notice them, but we are. Anyone you are around daily, anyone you love and anyone you're stuck with are part of one of your communities. Your family, your school, your friends. They're all people you share your life with, they're part of your life whether you like it or not and I have come to believe that everyone who is part of your life is part of one of the communities you are in.

Communities can be close, they can be distant. Your friends are a close community, they're the people you have chosen to share your life with, so they are the most important. School is a community, it can be a distant one, it can be a close one. You might not like school, or half of the people you're at school with but it's still a community. You're sharing your lives together. You're not sharing a lot of your life with most but you;re still sharing something with them. I think that's what makes a group of people a community, shared experience. I consider my household a community, there may only be two of us but we are a unit, a community.

I grew up going to church. I am the only person my age who still goes to the same church I have been going to since I was about three. I consider that to be one of my communities. I have grown up with a lot of the adults there, most of them recognize me and know me but I'm not close to a lot of them. I'm grateful that I have this experience of growing up in a church, with adults who have been around me most of my life but I just wish there were more of them I'm close with. There's nothing I can do about who I grew up with and who I am close with as a result of that but I think it's the fact that I only grew up closely with a handful of them meant that I didn't appreciate it until now.

I'm watching other children grow up in my church and every week I wonder how many of them will still be there when they're my age. Most won't be. This makes me sad in a way, because they won't have the stability I had, they'll never know what it's like to grow up around people you see at church once a week. But they'll find their own communities, they might have big families, or lots of friends around them. Whatever, I think we'll all find communities that will make them who they become.

It all comes down to people. Everything is about the people in our lives. They make us who we are, they influence us the most.

“My most up-to-date philosophy is this:  Love. People.  Love them non-stop, no questions asked.  Love people, and fight for Gratitude and Forgiveness always.  The Truth is, sometimes you have to teach yourself to love and appreciate the greatest things in life... because you won’t always catch it at first glance”
- Julia Albain

Friday, 4 November 2011

I wanted to get this out...

"Maybe I'm alone in this but I find peace in solitude"
-He Is We

That is basically how I've been feeling lately. I've just been feeling down this week. I've not been right, probably for many reasons. Maybe it's something to do with Autumn arriving or being stressed out with college, I don't really know.