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I'm just trying to figure out this journey we call life

Saturday 30 April 2011

Last day of April.

So, its the last day of April. Wow, its gone so fast! I have decided to do a list blog today because it's fun! So, the things that happened in April:

      • Revision started! 
      • I attempted BEDA and failed epicly (writing a total of 14 blogs this month)
      • I went to Barcelona
      • I revised some more
      • School put too much stress on me/everyone
      • I turned 16!!
      • Some more revision went on
      • Catherine Middleton and Prince William got married!!! (AMAZING)
      • Most of England had a total of 8 days in school, in the whole month.
So, exciting month! It seems like its gone so fast but at the same time, looking back, it feels like it was ages ago that Ben got sent out for a long stand and a big wait. It's weird how time can pass so fast yet so slow at the same  time. Time seems to do that.

So, anyway moving on. I want to talk about some things about what has happened in the past few days, especially the Royal Wedding. I have already mentioned it but, for some reason the whole thing has stuck with me and it just seemed so special, I absolutely loved it! I woke up at my usual time (around 8ish) and went downstairs to watch the coverage of the guest arriving and stuff. I watched that in my PJs and dressing gown until 12ish when the wedding and everything (apart from the bit on the balcony) was over. I had an hour to get dressed and then I watched the balcony bit. The whole thing was just amazing! Kate looked so beautiful and her dress was amazing, don't even get me started on the cute bridesmaids and page boys! It was so romantic and it seems like a true fairy tale. The families just seem so normal now. It's weird, I had absolutely no interest in the Royal Family up until yesterday but now I'm really in to it. I have no idea what the appeal is, I just loved it and Kate and William make THE perfect couple. Also, that wedding was the first wedding I have ever seen so it was kind of doubley amazing. 
Fun Fact: Me and anyone else called Kathryn/Catherine/any version of that name could get free transport in London and free entry into the London Zoo! If only I found out before yesterday, if I knew it before I may have taken advantage of it!
Other than that nothing much happened. I did have plans today but they fell through, unfortunately. Oh well, maybe next time! 
One of my best friends contacted me today about my idea I was talking about in my last blog post and it sounds like it may happen at some point! 

Going now. I think this blog has been quite a good one to be honest.
My last day of my fail of BEDA. 

See you next month!

Thursday 28 April 2011

I have an idea...

Today, for some reason, this big idea came to me. I don't know and can't remember how or why it came to me but it just did. I have this idea for a website where children who have lost one (or maybe more) parent can go and just talk to someone. I remember when I lost my dad I really did not know what to do. I can't even remember how I got through it but I didn't really have anyone to talk to and just kind of went through it on my own kind of counseling myself and felt quite alone. I don't think my friends really knew how to talk to me or support me with it. Because of these reasons I really want to set up a site where people my age can just talk to each other about what they went through or even just talk about their life with people who have been through similar things. I had an idea to make it like one of the bullying sites I have seen where there are a group of mentors you can chat to, probably live chatting. I really really want to make something like this but I don't think I'm clever/internet-smart enough to set it up.

I'd really like some help doing this. I don't care what your background is, I don't care who you are, if you could help me set this up I will be eternally grateful. I honestly don't think I can do this alone and if I do I may have to wait a few months but it is something I would love to do and would love to be able to help and meet others in similar situations to me. I have no idea if this will happen, I really hope it does and I really hope I have made sense while explaining this, if not, try reading this again and if it still doesn't make sense, I'm sorry, contact me and I'll try and explain it better!

Sunday 24 April 2011

Birthday, looking back.


So, as you can probably tell, its my 16th birthday! In fact, as I was writing that last sentence I officially turned 16! Just saying I'm 16 seems so weird. It seems so old. I was thinking about where I thought I would be when I was 16 a few years ago. I had this plan, a while ago, that I would ask for recording equipment and put my original songs (which were bad) onto myspace. That sounds so lame but it was around the time when everyone was getting discovered and becoming famous from myspace. I had this big plan that I would get microphones and stuff and put these songs up and get descovered and become famous. That was my amazing career plan when I was about 13. Oh how things have changed! I was so convinced I was going to be famous yet now I couldn't care less about fame. I was also convinced that I would be so sorted and I would know myself so much. I thought I would have my own style, be so confident and look like the old girls I saw with their friends all the time. Yet I don't feel like I am any of those things. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy and love my friends and  am quite confident but I don't fully know myself but I feel like that is one thing that I may never know. But i am happy (most of the time) and love my friends and my mum. I am quite happy with myself but I am not fully sorted in myself. Oh well, I guess that will come in time.

Woah, deep(ish) part of the blog over! So far today I have opened presents, lazed and read in the sun. For my birthday I got Josh Sundquist's autobiography (AMAZING - I'm on page 52 already), a top related to tetris, a book about Wicked, Glee DVD and lots more (including chocolate, since its easter). Later on today I have friends coming over for a BBQ and a sleepover which should be good. So, I did an early blog because I really wanted to talk about what I talked about.

Now I have run out of things to say so I'm going to go...

Saturday 23 April 2011

Tired, Yet still Blogging

I hope you are happy! I have had such a boring day yet I'm actually really tired right now. I have literally been revising all day. I had to catch up on what I'd missed so it was straight revision, interrupted by laziness. Not an interesting day. I don't even know why I'm blogging about it. I don't really have anything to say to be honest, other than the fact that it's my birthday tomorrow! I am going to be 16!! Wow, that sounds so old! I can't believe it, I'm going to be more expensive on buses and for the cinema and stuff. Plus, I can drive a tractor!

I am going to end on that very random note because I'm just trying to get into the habit of blogging at the moment.

Friday 22 April 2011

Not Blogging every day At All

I said I would try to blog every day. I didn't. If you saw me on Monday night you would understand. I have just been so ridiculously stressed this week. On Monday I had to learn a 1 and a half page thing for Spanish the next day. I also had a past paper to do that would take me 1 hr 15 mins. So, that got me very stressed, along with the fact that I stayed behind after school for about 2 hours. After walking home I literally worked on my Spanish all night and had no time to relax/blog/do other revision. I stayed on Tuesday as well and got told that I needed to be more stressed than I all ready was which did not help. Having my drama teacher telling me I have to have more stress after how stressed I was the previous night was very hard and I turned into a bit of a bitch in that lesson. Wednesday was more of the same really, it was mostly filled with dreading Thursday. On Thursday I had to get into school an hour early (7:30) and stay for what I thought would be a really long time. It didn't end up being too bad. I think I was so focused on not being a bitch to my friends that I actually seemed to have quite a good day. I lived through it and had a lazy night then quite a busy day today.

Today was quite a productive day really. We got a few things from a packed ASDA, got some stuff for my mum for the garden and successfully bought prom shoes and a summer dress. I'm so happy with both the things I bought today! I was having trouble finding a dress because I don't feel like any dresses really suit me. But this dress was really nice and it actually suited me! If the weather is nice on Sunday, I'm probably going to wear it! The prom shoes are really simple but I like it because it means my dress is the focus and I can wear them with other things as well. The heel is quite big as well, which I'm happy with. My mum wanted me to get a small heel but I didn't want to and, for once, I got what I wanted over what my mum wanted for me! Now I just need to practice walking in them with a long skirt/dress. I'm happy!


I found this picture today, through twitter, and it is so ridiculously me it is un-real so I had to include it in todays blog. 

Sunday 17 April 2011

Sunday Funday...but not really...

So, today has been a boring Sunday, but I'm still going to blog! I hope you're proud! I went to church, went shopping, had lunch and revised for the whole time my aunt and uncle were here. So, a suckish day. I have revised so much and I still need to do more. But its all for a good reason so I'm going to carry on and make myself be motivated for the next few months.

Anyway, as I have nothing else to say, I'm going to do a few random facts about me. Because, I don't know why, because I feel like it!

  1. When I had this idea I had something to tell you but it has completely gone out of my head now. So I actually don't have an interesting fact to share, maybe I'll think of some in time.
  2. As you probably know if you know me in real life/have read most of my blogs, I am very obsessed with YouTube. I am subscribed to way too many people and watch videos every single day I have internet. I started to make my own YouTube videos but they were very bad and I couldn't keep up. I plan to start making good videos in the summer.
  3. I have said this on twitter but I am going to say it on here, I feel like I get on with boys a lot easier, yet most of my friends are actually girls
  4. I am an only child. I am also quite awkward. Those 2 things, I think, are connected. I feel like I am quite awkward because I didn't grow up with many other children. I had friends, but there wasn't anyone around in my house
  5. I have now run out of facts.
I think I may do this every so often when I have nothing to blog about. So, this was fun...
Bye!

Saturday 16 April 2011

So, yeah, I suck, once again...

I know I promised you I'd blog before I went away and I didn't. Yes, I suck. I don't know why, I just haven't been inspired to blog recently so I figured that if I took a break I'd come back liking it more. I haven't really been inspired but I want to force myself to blog more because, when I can, I really enjoy it. Its not just my blog, I have kind of abandoned DailyBooth as well, I need to get more internety again! So, I'm going to try. Its going to be hard around my GCSEs but I'm definitely going to get better at it once my exams are over and I actually have time that isn't taken up by revision/putting off revision/relaxing from revision. As you can see, my life is kind of taken up by revision at the moment. So, my blogs may not be interesting but they will be blogs!

While I haven't been blogging I've been in Barcelona, searching for prom shoes and, as you can guess, revising. Barcelona was good, I really miss the great weather now I'm back in miserable old England. It was quite nice weather today though, so hopefully we brought the good weather back with us! In Barcelona we did all the tourist buses, sightseeing, shopping and holding on to our bags because of all the pick pocket scare-stories. Fun times. I missed the internet terribly and worried about the revision I should have been doing that my mum would not let me do. As you can tell, revision for GCSEs is pretty much taking over my life and I have promised myself that I'm going to sacrifice my social life for revision if I have to. I really want good results, so I am forcing myself to be motivated.

Honestly, one of main the reasons I am working so hard is probably because my friends (especially one of my best friends who's in all my lessons) are very smart and work very hard and get good results. I know I should want to succeed for my own benefit only but I know I'm not. I just can't help myself. I guess its not such a bad thing that something is motivating me to revise, but I hate how much I am influenced by other people. I guess thats just human nature but I do wish I could be a bit more individual. Maybe I'll just grow out of it but it's something I have to live with or change, I haven't decided yet. I guess it'll make me a better person in time so we'll just wait and see I guess.

I had a few huge paragraphs here and blogger decided not to save it and to mess up when I decided to publish it. So, lets try this again...

Yesterday was full of revision and general nothingness while my mum was in town. I should have blogged but I didn't, I'm sorry! I've kind of been very tired all the time. Today we had our keyboard lesson where I found out that I failed my music theory exam I did a while a go. I was kind of gutted about it but I'm okay about it now. I think it might be the only proper exam I have failed. I guess I have to fail some time. But that is another thing that has made me more motivated. After that we went prom shoe shopping. We started out at Windsors where we didn't find anything so moved on to Maccys, Next and M & S for lunch and more shopping. We found some possible shoes and a possible bag at Next but didn't buy either of them. The shoes were really pretty, they just didn't fit very well and the heel was a bit too small for me. I really really liked the bag we found but were not too sure about whether it would go with my dress or not so decided to leave it for now. We did get my bra at M & S though! I'm sure you're all very interested in that. I need my bra and shoes by the time my dress comes and needs fitting in May which, surprisingly, isn't that far away.

So, girly part over now and I can't remember what else I wrote about now so I'm going to finish off. I think I am going to try to do this daily from now on but if I can't cope I won't but I will blog at least once a week, hopefully more and my good blogs will be at weekends, just so you know.

Today was awesome because: I got a prom bra!

Thursday 7 April 2011

Hi Bye

So, I'm off to a sleepover now so have a quick blog once again. I'm sorry. I suck, I promise a proper blog before I go away!!

Wednesday 6 April 2011

Tired, Can't be Bothered.

The title is my mood. I am exhausted. I have been in school, doing drama for 2 days straight and it has made me knackered. I know I promised you a proper blog yesterday, but I don't know, I kind of can't be bothered. Oh wow, I suck at this BEDA  thing.

So, quick run down of my days. Yesterday I went to school, came home, waited for my aunt and uncle to arrive and then we went out for a meal. The food was nice but the company can be exhausting. Today I said bye to my aunt and uncle, went to school, came home, revised and lazed a bit. Busy. Not that fun. So, that was the last 2 days of mine in about 2 minutes. Hope you enjoyed it!

I'm sorry, I can't be bothered anymore I kind of just want to lie in bed forever now, so thats what I plan to do soon. Only not forever, I'll wake up at some point. It will be later than the last 2 days though, because I don't have to go to school. Thank God!

Today was awesome because: I got a lot done!

Tuesday 5 April 2011

Quick blog :)

I've had quite a busy day and haven't actually been on a computer/laptop all day so I'm just kind of checking in. I am now checked in and am now going. I promise a proper blog for you tomorrow!

Monday 4 April 2011

Cuatro

Yes, I have turned Spanish in my blog titles apparently. I don't have much to say today really, just sayin' hey. I'm kind of tired and haven't done that much today so its going to be a boring blog today I think. I have been having a very lazy day, doing nothing and revising, so I don't have much to tell you today.
Enough about how boring today was.

Tomorrow I am in school, even though it is the holidays, I have to practice my drama performance. I'm in school from 9am till 3pm, then my aunt and uncle are visiting us. So, sounds like I have a busy day tomorrow, not sure when I'll be able to blog, I guess I'll be blogging from my iPod.

So, as predicted, this was a boring blog.

Today was awesome because: It was lazy!

Sunday 3 April 2011

Numero tres

So, today has been a boring day which usually results in a boring blog but I'm going to attempt to go against what I normally do because that is what BEDA is about for me. I went to church, watched TV, revised and watched videos. That is my day. Nothing interesting happened at all so I'm going to move on now.

Today I spent some time on a site called Ask Elizabeth. I spent quite a lot of time on there. It really is an amazing site. The concept is basically to help teenage girls who have certain questions or are going through certain things in their lives. I spent some time on the site looking at the videos that are up there. I spent the most time on the section about loosing loved ones because it is the section that I can relate to the most, having lost my grandparents and my dad when I was younger. It nearly made me cry but I think that is good sometimes. I could relate to a lot of the girls on there but it really made me realize how lucky the kids growing up in America are, as they seem to grow up much slower than the kids here.

I do feel, and have felt for some time, that the children in America grow up a lot slower than the children here in the UK do. I have a few reasons for this and, since I enjoyed doing a list the last time I did one in this blog, I have decided to make a list of these reasons.

  • Children in America go start high school aged 14/15 whereas in the UK we start high school when we are 11, I feel like high school forces you to grow up a lot and completely changes you.
  • From the American videos/TV programs I have seen all the kids seem to act a lot younger, a lot of times I hear about a lot of people the same age as me like the things I would expect younger people to like a lot more.
  • American teenagers don't really have to have big exams/choices until they are 18, whereas we have to choose our options at 14 and our A levels at 16 which could effect the rest of our lives.
  • As far as I know, less kids in America are getting pregnant at 14ish, whereas I now know someone in my school who had an abortion at 13 and got pregnant at 14. The sad thing is that, compared to some others, this girl is relatively old.
Okay, so those are the reasons I feel like American kids grow up a lot faster than the kids here in the UK. Let me know if some of my facts are incorrect and this is just my opinion, I just wanted to share it because that is what this blog is about to me.

Today was awesome because: I did a lot of revision!

Saturday 2 April 2011

Day 2 :)

So, I don't have an interesting title for this blog, so I'm just going to call it day 2. I really have an urge to make BEDA a more creative thing where I talk about stuff other than just my day, I think it will make my blog a lot better in the end. I'm not too sure what exactly I will be writing about, I just know I need to do something better, so I just thought I'd inform you of that. In the meantime I will just talk about my day while I figure it out.

So, most of my day was spent at the hairdressers getting my hair done. It literally takes hours to do my hair which sucks but I like it so I can live with it. They managed to get some die on to my white top, that did not impress, as you can guess. But its all okay, it washed out. Other than that I haven't done much, I attempted to revise but gave up after doing one subject (I'm meant to do at least 2 a day) but I'll just have to do extra tomorrow. My holiday isn't going to be much of a holiday, I know it because I have so much revision and school work to do. But its worth it and I get 3 months off school in the summer! So, in conclusion, its all good!

Ever since I got this blog I have been considering starting a separate blog for all my YouTube fan girling thoughts but I don't know because I figure I might as well do it here as something I can talk about quite well (I think) so it might make this blog a bit more interesting. Honestly, this blog post is just kind of me talking about what this blog is about. I have come to the conclusion that this blog is just my thoughts and a random place where I can talk to and about myself.

So, a weird blog post today but a blog post non the less. That is always good!

Today was awesome because: It was a lazy day!

Friday 1 April 2011

BEDAMDIIS Day 1 :)

So, its April 1st, that means a few things:

  • It's April fools day!
  • I am going to Barcelona!
  • It's 24 days till my birthday!
  • My version of BEDA begins!
That was a lot of exclamation points! The main reason I use exclamation points instead of smiley faces because I feel like smiley faces look silly in blogs and things like that. Just thought I'd explain that. I'm kind of excited for April, apart from the revision, this month should be quite good.

So, today was the last day of term at school and it was kind of just a day. I have been staying behind after school every single day every week because of revision or drama practice so that is fun. Its okay though, its good for my GCSEs. So, that was fun, walking home was tiring but good for me. Nothing interesting has happened today really. Only one April fool happened that I witnessed and that wasn't even to me or from me, so just a normal day really.

I am sorry that my first BEDA blog was kind of boring, it will get better I promise!

Today was awesome because: someone in my class got sent to the prep room for a big weight and a long stand.