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I'm just trying to figure out this journey we call life

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

I get the feeling of needing a lot. A lot of times I'll read something or see something and I just feel like a certain thing has to happen. Usually it's not something that can happen in my life at this moment in time, I feel like I have a lot more goals that can only be accomplished in 6 years or so. I wish I could do more now but for some reason it just feels like I can't.

I think a lot of that feeling comes from my age. I'm 16 and, although a couple of years ago it seemed like being 16 meant you were all grown up and you did everything for yourself, I still feel very much like a child. Honestly, I don't do a lot of stuff without my mum and when I do I need her permission, I can't really just do things. Also, I look up to people who are 21-26 (ish) and they don't have the same restrictions. I would love to have half the experiences that my idol has had but I feel like I want them now but I can't have them now. because I'm too young.

I'm also very confused and want very opposite things at the same time. I want to travel. But I don't want to leave home. There are many reasons why I don't want to leave home but, at the moment, my feeling of need to travel and see just one new place is greater than the thing that's pulling me to this house I grew up in. Maybe that's part of growing up, conflicting desires and having to choose between them, I don't know.

Basically, what I think I'm trying to get at is the fact that I am inexperienced in life etc. and I want to become more experienced but I don't feel like I can right now. It's annoying. But maybe it will drive me to do more things when I can. I hope it does. Basically, I want to experience everything possible but can't find a way to do it right now. I think that's the message of this blog...I'm not to sure really.

This blog was semi inspired by Julia Albain's most recent blog. Yes, her again.

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