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I'm just trying to figure out this journey we call life

Tuesday, 26 July 2011


I meant to blog yesterday but I got lazy so I didn't, because I don't have to. But I should have. But no one checked so its all good. Now onto the blog...

Yesterday I went to an induction day for the volunteering I'm going to be doing in August. On the way there I was so unbelievably nervous, I think I was shaking a little bit. Usually, if I'm going to be doing a new thing/going to a new place I have at least one similar experience to compare it with but yesterday I didn't and it scared me so much. I don't know anyone who will be volunteering with me and it was just a completely new experience. Those scare me to death. I think it might be good for me to do more of those things though, it might make me a better person, you never know! Anyway, moving on from my anxiety. As I've said, it was a completely new experience for me and so I didn't want to be late or anything so I arrived super early. When I got there (shaking) I saw a couple of people going in and followed them. When I got to the entrance they were sat talking outside but I walked up to the door and the volunteer coordinator saw me and let us in. So that was good, kind of awkward but good. We waited for other people to come in, again it was a bit awkward but I'm a bit awkward so it's all good! Basically it was all good. Once everyone had arrived we did an ice breaker game where questions were asked and you had to go to certain sides for certain things. One disappointment there: one of the questions was facebook or twitter and there were only 2 of us for twitter. Warrington disappoints me. Oh well. After that we went in and had a presentation basically telling us what to expect when volunteering and stuff. It basically looks like I'm going to be playing for a month. That should be fun! We did some other activities and then got our CRB checks done. I'm all set for volunteering! Hopefully, since I'm going to be doing BEDA this August I'll have some good blog material from it!

So, I guess this is kind of a lame subject but its something I want to talk about and I have no where else to do it so I'm doing it here...
Yesterday, when we were watching Hollyoaks, one of the characters said to his boyfriend "we could be at a bus stop and it would still be special" and my mum turned to me and said "I hope you feel that way about someone someday." I don't know why, but this is something I feel like sharing. I agree with my mum but its just not really something we talk about and it was kind of weird for me, I didn't really know what to say. I don't know. That was just something I wanted to put out there...

I've talked a bit about Julia Albain a bit on here before but for some reason I really want to say a bit more about her so I am. If you read my blog regularly then you'll know that I read Julia's book at the start of this month and loved it! She has quickly become my favourite starkid because of many things: the way she writes is amazing; her book has honestly changed my outlook on life and she isn't perfect. That last reason is a bit of a weird reason, we usually idolize the people we think are perfect but for me doing that leads to self esteem issues. If I am idolizing someone who is stick thin it leads to me constantly wondering why I can't be that skinny etc. So for me, it is healthier to look up to people who lead healthy lifestyles but won't disappear if they turn sideways. That might sound like a slam on other people or like I'm saying something about Julia but it isn't meant to be, it's just the way my mind works I guess. Also, from reading her book you get the impression that
she is constantly working on herself, she always wants to make herself better which is something I really admire and I kind of identify with. Really, they are the reasons that I have come to love her so much. She just has this amazing way of looking at things and ever since reading her book I feel like I have started to see certain things differently. I first noticed this on holiday, I found myself more willing to absorb information at the various historical places we visited, something I wouldn't have done a year a go. Julia has also made me more committed to writing and, until I read her book, I don't think I really appreciated this blog and the opportunity to just write, no matter how good I am, just because I can and it helps me. I really feel like it's changed me as a person purely because it's given me someone to look up to and identify with, someone I don't think I had before. I can now say I have an idol, I may not be an actress or director but I look up to Julia Albain for her mindset more than her work.

Again, that was just something I wanted to get off my chest.

One last thing for today:
I have decided to give my friends blog names because I don't really want to use their names but I can't keep saying "my friend". These are the ones I have come up with so far:

  • smarty-pants friend
  • short funny friend
  • crazy crazy haired friend
  • dirty minded friend
  • fringed friend
  • sweet guy friend
  • not gay guy friend
  • smart arse guy friend
Those are what I have for now, if you are one of them you'll know which one! (I hope)

Today was awesome because: Instead of walking like a normal person to give my mum something, I crawled and it was a lot faster and comfier than I would have been if I'd have walked. I think I should crawl more often.

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