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I'm just trying to figure out this journey we call life

Saturday, 13 August 2011

BEDA Day 13: I'm Not Sad Today

There's a project/site someone has created on tumblr called imnotsadtoday and today I saw it on my dash (as usual) and really wanted to say something about/to it. However, it didn't seem right to tell it to them in their ask, I don't know why but I couldn't say what I needed to say directly to them. If you regularly read this blog then you know that it's where I put the things I want to share but don't have anywhere to share them and this is one of those things...

I started off writing this in their ask:
To be honest, I'm not sad most days but I kind of haven't felt like I could submit here because I don't have a story as to why I was sad/am not sad, I'm lucky enough to be quite happy at the moment and to have been for some time. In a way I guess I don't feel like I should be on this site if being happy isn't a rare thing for me. I don't want to sound like I'm bragging or insulting you guys, I think this is a great site.

But then I didn't think it sounded right, saying those things and I needed to say other things but didn't know how so I stopped and put it here instead. I'm basically going to write this out again but a lot longer and I'll probably add a lot...

I have followed I'm Not Sad Today basically since it began and I've always thought what an amazing thing it is, it's truly inspiring. Yet I've never felt like I could submit something. I think the main reason is because I don't have a story. As I said earlier, I'm lucky enough not to be sad a lot of the time. I haven't been truly sad in a long time and I'm very happy and thankful for that fact. But because of this I don't feel like I can submit something.

I have been through stuff. I lost my dad when I was 11 but while it was horrible and I was distraught about it, I was never depressed. Like properly depressed. I just kind of got on with it. I've never really got truly depressed, I tend to just get through things. I am extremely lucky with that and I know it. I just wish it didn't make me feel bad when I see people who've been through depression, I wish I could help.

That's all I can say tonight.

I think I'm going to go read Julia Albain's book tonight. I feel like that's what I need.

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