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I'm just trying to figure out this journey we call life

Monday, 15 August 2011

BEDA Day 15: Friends and stuff

Today I'm going to talk about a subject that I think I have touched upon a few times but never really said what I need to say today.

I love my friends so much. I can be myself around them and we are complete weirdos when we're together and just don't care. I love being with them. However, I feel like I haven't met that one best friend yet. The friend that you just think "where have you been all my life?" The friend who you know you can tell anything to and they won't judge you, they'll understand. In a way, it's the friend who thinks the same way as you, the one who's been through similar things and dealt with them in the same way. I see friends like this on the internet but I've never been able to find that person. I feel like something is missing from my life and for a long time this is all I've wanted. I know it's a lot but I'd just like to find someone who I can cry, laugh and flail with unconditionally.

I just don't know what to do about it. I talk to people. I try to make friends but none seem to stick, they just kind of drift in and out. I want someone I can tell my life story to because, even though I've grown up with some of my best friends they don't know everything, they mostly only know my school life. I wish that wasn't the case but it is. I want someone who has problems that I can help with while they help me with problems.

Who knows, maybe one of my friends will become that person for me, I kind of hope so but I don't think they will. I don't have enough in common with them. I kind of like being the group that just came together because we didn't have other friends, I feel like we're a bunch of misfits who get along, have fun and have formed great relationships with each other. We know that we don't have much in common with each other and we're okay with it.

I'd just like one person who I have a lot in common with. For some reason I feel like the internet is the best place to meet this person. Simply because there are so many people on here and the internet is such a big part on mine, and a lot of people on here's lives. It would make sense that people who spend so much time on the internet would find each other on there. I've seen it happen and every time I do I'm insanely jealous. I just want to be there with someone.

Maybe my problem is that I want too much. I don't want to want these things, I just do. There are some things you can't control about yourself.

Also, hi. I'm still down but this really helped yesterday night. I'm currently blaming hormones for this mood.

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