What do you want to be when you grow up?

It's such a broad and universal question, isn't it? When you're young you're asked it all the time. But being "grown up" is such a far off, unattainable thing that it doesn't really matter what you say. If you say a cowboy or princess then people think you're cute, if you say a doctor or a writer then people might be impressed but they'll probably also find it cute more than anything. It just doesn't really matter what you say because you're a little kid, the future doesn't feel like it'll ever come.

For me now, the question "what do you want to be when you grow up?" has a completely different meaning. Being grown up doesn't feel far away any more. It feels tangible. Growing up was such a far away thing only a few years a go but suddenly I feel like I truly am growing up. I'm not growing up in the "you're getting so big" way, I'm growing up in the intellectual way. I feel like I'm becoming an adult, ready or not. It feels like it's now. It's present. It's happening and that's scary as hell. 

Now, if someone says they want to be a doctor, it's impressive because I know how much it takes. If someone tells me they want to be an actor I know how slim the chances are. If someone is getting a job, I think about what it will actually mean. My perspective has changed a lot. 

Of course I still feel like a kid playing grown up. Maybe I always will, maybe that's how it's meant to be. Maybe I'm not meant to be feeling grown up, maybe I'm meant to still feel like a child. All I know is that growing up feels like it's happening. But it's okay.