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I'm just trying to figure out this journey we call life

Monday, 15 October 2012

Season of waiting

Right now I feel as if I'm simply in a season of waiting. It's felt like this for quite some time now: I'm waiting to go on my next adventure, to have the freedom I desire and to finally start the process of becoming what I desire. One thing I never counted on when entering this season was the exhausting difficulty of waiting. It constantly feels like I'm almost there but not quite close enough to reach the goals I am heading towards, I'm just stuck with them out of my reach.

Within the waiting there is much preparation. Preparation to get me there but seemingly no progress. It almost feels like I have no direction and a very clear direction at the same time. Going through the motions is alright, until it doesn't feel like I'm ever going to stop going through the motions. Planning to get there is alright, until it feels like I'm never going to get there. Waiting is alright, until it feels like it is all I ever do.

At the same time, I feel like things are hurtling towards me. Times of happiness are present in my life and I am very thankful for that. However, there are also times of uncertainty, of the future looming around the corner ready to change everything. It's always present in my life, it's just not fully arrived yet. A change is coming, whether I like it or not, I can see it yet not quite reach it.

The conflicting feelings and overwhelming sense of movement soon is hard to take but they are part of this section of my journey and so I must take them and I must go and use the knowledge they give me through the rest of my life. I know I need to go through this season, just like every other season I have, and will, experience. It won't be easy but it'll be good for me.

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