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I'm just trying to figure out this journey we call life

Monday, 7 January 2013

I don't fit.

I just don't fit with a group of people. I fit with one or to people as pairs, I can have a perfectly good time with just one other person, maybe two. Put me in a group bigger than that though and I just don't fit in. Everyone has someone else that they fit better with. Everyone has a shared background of liking a certain thing that either I've never liked or only just like. Everyone just has better connections with other people.

Even when I've felt like I fit in a little but I still had a difference. In the StarKid fandom and the brilliant family I gained from it I had a difference: I had never really been obsessed with Harry Potter. I liked it, but I wasn't exactly a fan, I'd not even seen the films. So, even though I did feel a sense of belonging, I still didn't have the same experiences. I wasn't similar to the rest of them; I didn't know one of their deepest loves as well as I felt I ought to in order to be fully with them.

I've had friendship groups where, for a short time, I've felt complete belonging but eventually I always find myself feeling distant from them. There is always someone who my friend would prefer to spend time with, it is always as if I am a third wheel whenever someone else is there.

Maybe I'm just over sensitive, maybe it's something everyone feels, I don't know.

1 comment:

  1. I felt like this a lot in high school and college, and still do sometimes, this rush of it comes back an I just feel like I shouldn't be even commenting on someone's post because it wouldn't help anyways.

    In the past year I did feel more accepted, but even though I still feel like the third weel sometimes, I do think I am more times the third weel, than others have that one person with and others they can talk to. Maybe there are people that just need to be the third weel-I know that sounds cliche/bad but I think we do, maybe we are the diverse people that have bits of everything that can not completely connect with one, but can mostly connect with many. Which is hard but hey *third wheel high five!!* And gurl remember when I saw the cover of the friends with benefits One Tree Hill soundtrack on your laptop and I hugattacked you like a crazy person <3
    I would still hugattack you every random moment because of your awesomeness, and because I want your hugs because they are amazing!!! like I would be a proud hugger if I gave half of your hugs! (oh that sounds really weird...but oh well I am so...)

    Love and lots of huuuuuggles