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I'm just trying to figure out this journey we call life

Monday, 24 December 2012

Things are good

I'm good. Right now I am good.

For the past few months I have been the opposite of good. I don't know what went wrong, I just was't happy and I wasn't dealing with it very well. Sadness just arrived in my life with no apparent reason and no warning. It was a rough few months, I constantly felt like I was about to fall apart.

Then, suddenly, this past week or so I began to feel something I hadn't really been able to fully feel for a while: happiness. I just remember sitting there on the bus feeling happy just being there for the first time I can remember in a while. I've been able to hold onto that feeling. It arrived as unexpectedly as it went.

I don't know why I was given this journey, I don't know the cause or the intention, I just know that I was given it. As hard as it was, I know that it was necessary. I might not fully understand what I've learnt from it but I know I've learnt something. I am stronger than I was, I get stronger every day.

I think I lost myself a bit in the past few months but, in the words of Taylor Swift, "I don't know if you know who you are until you lose who you are". I still don't know myself but I'm getting there. I do think that losing yourself is what lets you find yourself. I probably need to lose myself a few more times before I can properly find myself and that's okay.

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