Lately I have been thinking about my future career a lot. For many reasons, I guess: I'm volunteering to get experience with what I want to work in, I'm going into college which means thinking about Uni etc. and I have a lot of free time. I'm going to start this story from the begining (for once).
Since I did my work experience last year I've wanted to be a teacher in a special needs school. That's what I decided after I enjoyed working in a special school so much. It became so much easier for me to make subject/college decisions, I knew what I wanted to do, it was good. I got sorted to get experience with children with special needs. I was sorted. I still am, in a way.
Over this past month or so I've become more unsure. I guess, ever since I read Julia Albain's book I've had an urge to see more things, have more experiences, find myself. I feel like that is a big thing on my to do list; I want to find myself because I'm lost. As much as I'd hate being lost, I feel like it would make me a better person. I want to see different things. I have decided this over these last few months. It's kind of unsettled me because I was always thinking I'd be a school-college-uni-job-end person. That doesn't sound good to me now, though. I can't see myself going into a job after university and staying in one job, or exactly the same type of job for the rest of my life. It sounds so boring. My job wouldn't be boring, I know that. I just don't want to do it all the time from ages 21 to 65.
In a way, I want to have a gap year after university. I'll get my degree then go travelling or something for a bit. I want to enjoy my 20s. I want to do some exploring. I don't want to just work through my 20s, I want to do something else. Whether I work and explore or I just explore, I don't know but I want to do something else.
I think the main reason I came to this realization is because (again) of Starkid. I look up to those people and they don't have "real" jobs. They've moved around since college and are experiencing different things. That's what I want to do. I think that I've always felt a bit like this, I've just not realised it until I saw people living it, you know? That happens sometimes.
About Me
Friday, 19 August 2011
Thursday, 18 August 2011
BEDA Day 18: Tired ramblings
I'm really tired right now so I'm just going to write and see what happens. I feel like this is going to turn into an about-my-life blog because I can't be bothered doing a blog about actual things...
My life is volunteering and tumblr. That is all. I love it. I'm still enjoying volunteering and I'll miss it when I'm done but at the same time I'm looking forward to it being over so I can relax a bit, it's very tiring! Tumblr has taken over my life...I love it.
I've also been slowly deleting people off my facebook. I have 300+ friends on there and I like about 15 of them. I'm literally going through my timeline everyday and unfriending everyone who I've never talked to or don't like. It feels good. Honestly, I hardly ever use facebook for non starkid things, but recently I've been using it for starkid socializing a lot more. I'd quite like to keep that side of me from the people who I don't like because, honestly, they don't need to know about it. I have actually been thinking about clearing out my facebook friends for a while. The amount of people I have on there who I either don't like or don't speak to is silly. There's no point. I don't actually update my facebook anymore, I just write on the starkid pages. So there's no point. No one will miss me. There are a few people, however, that I kind of want to delete but can't because it would lead to awkward questions next year. I know there are some people who'd notice I'd deleted them and ask me about it. Because I'm a coward, I wouldn't be able to say "well, I don't like you so I deleted you" and I just can't be bothered with the drama it might bring. But I kind of like deleting people, it makes me want to go back on facebook more because I'm not worried about the judgemental people. Hopefully soon there will only be people I don't mind seeing the weirder side of me on there and I might actually use it more.
So, that's my life right now.
Also, random things that don't deserve their own paragraphs:
My life is volunteering and tumblr. That is all. I love it. I'm still enjoying volunteering and I'll miss it when I'm done but at the same time I'm looking forward to it being over so I can relax a bit, it's very tiring! Tumblr has taken over my life...I love it.
I've also been slowly deleting people off my facebook. I have 300+ friends on there and I like about 15 of them. I'm literally going through my timeline everyday and unfriending everyone who I've never talked to or don't like. It feels good. Honestly, I hardly ever use facebook for non starkid things, but recently I've been using it for starkid socializing a lot more. I'd quite like to keep that side of me from the people who I don't like because, honestly, they don't need to know about it. I have actually been thinking about clearing out my facebook friends for a while. The amount of people I have on there who I either don't like or don't speak to is silly. There's no point. I don't actually update my facebook anymore, I just write on the starkid pages. So there's no point. No one will miss me. There are a few people, however, that I kind of want to delete but can't because it would lead to awkward questions next year. I know there are some people who'd notice I'd deleted them and ask me about it. Because I'm a coward, I wouldn't be able to say "well, I don't like you so I deleted you" and I just can't be bothered with the drama it might bring. But I kind of like deleting people, it makes me want to go back on facebook more because I'm not worried about the judgemental people. Hopefully soon there will only be people I don't mind seeing the weirder side of me on there and I might actually use it more.
So, that's my life right now.
Also, random things that don't deserve their own paragraphs:
- I miss my friends but hopefully that will change within this week
- Results day is a week today (eeeek)
- I have seen an episode of Barney where they have a purple party too many times
- I'm tired
- As soon as I'm done with volunteering we have guests
- I want a week where I don't have to do anything but that's not gonna happen and if it did I'd get bored of it
- I'm looking forward to college
- Tumblr/Starkid friends on facebook are the best
- Walking home is fun, it's usually when I think about what I'm going to blog about
- I woke up to 65 texts from twitter this morning. Team Starkid had a rehearsal, funny tweets come with that
- I am re reading Julia Albain's book alongside Harry Potter. It's what I need right now.
- A Glamorously Unglamorous Life is basically my handbook to life, it will live where ever I live
Wednesday, 17 August 2011
BEDA Day 17: Fanfiction
If you don't know what fanfiction is google it now. It's amazing. Whatever you're obsessed with or even just a fan of, there will probably be fanfic for it. I love it so much. Almost all the fanfic I read is Starkid related and if not it's Harry Potter.
I saw a quote on tumblr the other day that said "fanfiction is what literature would be if all the commercial writers were wiped out. It's not done for money or fame, it's just done because people love doing it" (or something like that) I couldn't have put it better myself. Fanfic is just for fun. There's no money involved, it's just what people want to write.
Fanfiction is all about characters that already exist. Someone has either already wrote the characters you use or they are real life people, either way it's all about working from a point someone else has given you. I think that characters are amazing because they are created by one person and then brought to life in so many different ways. In my opinion, fanfiction is all about how certain people view certain characters, what they mean to them. That's what I think is so great about characters. They can be whatever you want them to be because they're not real, they've been created. We all have slightly different views of people, they may not be 100% true but they're real to us. It's why reading is so good, we each have different experiences with it, we all imagine things differently. It's something that's individual to us, no one can really tell us it's wrong because it is in our head, it's not real so we can shape it to be what it is.
Anyway, back to fanfiction. I feel like fanfic is all about other fans sharing their personal experiences with the story they're writing about. It's about sharing what you imagined when you read/watched something, it's telling people what you think about certain characters and letting them share your experiences. That's an amazing thing. You can add to a story, enhance other's experience of it by sharing your experience of it. It becomes a group experience and that's what makes it so amazing. It can completely change your view on stories and characters and it's amazing.
The reason I decided to write about this today is because I've been reading a certain fanfic, learning to dance, today. It's based around Starship and Taz and Up's relationship and it's amazing. It truly is. I'm just over half way and wow...I've nearly cried a few times already and I think there are tears to come...that's how good it is. I'm also helping to edit a friend's fanfic and really enjoying it right now so it's something that's come into my life that I wanted to share...
I saw a quote on tumblr the other day that said "fanfiction is what literature would be if all the commercial writers were wiped out. It's not done for money or fame, it's just done because people love doing it" (or something like that) I couldn't have put it better myself. Fanfic is just for fun. There's no money involved, it's just what people want to write.
Fanfiction is all about characters that already exist. Someone has either already wrote the characters you use or they are real life people, either way it's all about working from a point someone else has given you. I think that characters are amazing because they are created by one person and then brought to life in so many different ways. In my opinion, fanfiction is all about how certain people view certain characters, what they mean to them. That's what I think is so great about characters. They can be whatever you want them to be because they're not real, they've been created. We all have slightly different views of people, they may not be 100% true but they're real to us. It's why reading is so good, we each have different experiences with it, we all imagine things differently. It's something that's individual to us, no one can really tell us it's wrong because it is in our head, it's not real so we can shape it to be what it is.
Anyway, back to fanfiction. I feel like fanfic is all about other fans sharing their personal experiences with the story they're writing about. It's about sharing what you imagined when you read/watched something, it's telling people what you think about certain characters and letting them share your experiences. That's an amazing thing. You can add to a story, enhance other's experience of it by sharing your experience of it. It becomes a group experience and that's what makes it so amazing. It can completely change your view on stories and characters and it's amazing.
The reason I decided to write about this today is because I've been reading a certain fanfic, learning to dance, today. It's based around Starship and Taz and Up's relationship and it's amazing. It truly is. I'm just over half way and wow...I've nearly cried a few times already and I think there are tears to come...that's how good it is. I'm also helping to edit a friend's fanfic and really enjoying it right now so it's something that's come into my life that I wanted to share...
Tuesday, 16 August 2011
BEDA Day 16: Never growing up
I am never going to grow up. I will always hold on to that little bit of magic, I'm always going to see the beauty in things. I want to always see some good in people, because it's possible. I don't care if that makes me naive or stupid, I always want to be childlike. Maybe it's one of the reasons I'm attracted to working with children, doing that will help me always slightly see things from a child's perspective.
Just a bit of inspirational ramblings that popped into my head when I started writing this blog...
The magical thing about being a child is that you're innocent. You aren't aware of any of the messed up things in the world, you're guided around life, you don't have to think, you just do. The simplest things can be the best things in the world. You can be entertained for hours with just one simple toy, a song or even a word. It's amazing.
I miss that. I miss not having to think, people would think about the hard things for you. You just thought about what you were playing with. Everything was so simple. Then we grow up. I feel like, as we grow up, we have a choice. At one point or another I believe we all think "life is shit". However, we can choose whether to live this opinion or accept it and try to make it less shit. There are hard times but we get through them, we have no choice. I do think we have a choice as to how much we let it affect us though. I know we can't help it if things get to us and get us down but I do think that we can choose to focus on other things, take our minds off them instead of wallowing. It's up to us.
These past few days I've been choosing wrong. I've been letting stuff get me down for no good reason. I'm going to try and stop that. It's not worth it.
I may have just helped myself...I've never done that before. I love this blog so much.
Just a bit of inspirational ramblings that popped into my head when I started writing this blog...
The magical thing about being a child is that you're innocent. You aren't aware of any of the messed up things in the world, you're guided around life, you don't have to think, you just do. The simplest things can be the best things in the world. You can be entertained for hours with just one simple toy, a song or even a word. It's amazing.
I miss that. I miss not having to think, people would think about the hard things for you. You just thought about what you were playing with. Everything was so simple. Then we grow up. I feel like, as we grow up, we have a choice. At one point or another I believe we all think "life is shit". However, we can choose whether to live this opinion or accept it and try to make it less shit. There are hard times but we get through them, we have no choice. I do think we have a choice as to how much we let it affect us though. I know we can't help it if things get to us and get us down but I do think that we can choose to focus on other things, take our minds off them instead of wallowing. It's up to us.
These past few days I've been choosing wrong. I've been letting stuff get me down for no good reason. I'm going to try and stop that. It's not worth it.
I may have just helped myself...I've never done that before. I love this blog so much.
Monday, 15 August 2011
BEDA Day 15: Friends and stuff
Today I'm going to talk about a subject that I think I have touched upon a few times but never really said what I need to say today.
I love my friends so much. I can be myself around them and we are complete weirdos when we're together and just don't care. I love being with them. However, I feel like I haven't met that one best friend yet. The friend that you just think "where have you been all my life?" The friend who you know you can tell anything to and they won't judge you, they'll understand. In a way, it's the friend who thinks the same way as you, the one who's been through similar things and dealt with them in the same way. I see friends like this on the internet but I've never been able to find that person. I feel like something is missing from my life and for a long time this is all I've wanted. I know it's a lot but I'd just like to find someone who I can cry, laugh and flail with unconditionally.
I just don't know what to do about it. I talk to people. I try to make friends but none seem to stick, they just kind of drift in and out. I want someone I can tell my life story to because, even though I've grown up with some of my best friends they don't know everything, they mostly only know my school life. I wish that wasn't the case but it is. I want someone who has problems that I can help with while they help me with problems.
Who knows, maybe one of my friends will become that person for me, I kind of hope so but I don't think they will. I don't have enough in common with them. I kind of like being the group that just came together because we didn't have other friends, I feel like we're a bunch of misfits who get along, have fun and have formed great relationships with each other. We know that we don't have much in common with each other and we're okay with it.
I'd just like one person who I have a lot in common with. For some reason I feel like the internet is the best place to meet this person. Simply because there are so many people on here and the internet is such a big part on mine, and a lot of people on here's lives. It would make sense that people who spend so much time on the internet would find each other on there. I've seen it happen and every time I do I'm insanely jealous. I just want to be there with someone.
Maybe my problem is that I want too much. I don't want to want these things, I just do. There are some things you can't control about yourself.
Also, hi. I'm still down but this really helped yesterday night. I'm currently blaming hormones for this mood.
I love my friends so much. I can be myself around them and we are complete weirdos when we're together and just don't care. I love being with them. However, I feel like I haven't met that one best friend yet. The friend that you just think "where have you been all my life?" The friend who you know you can tell anything to and they won't judge you, they'll understand. In a way, it's the friend who thinks the same way as you, the one who's been through similar things and dealt with them in the same way. I see friends like this on the internet but I've never been able to find that person. I feel like something is missing from my life and for a long time this is all I've wanted. I know it's a lot but I'd just like to find someone who I can cry, laugh and flail with unconditionally.
I just don't know what to do about it. I talk to people. I try to make friends but none seem to stick, they just kind of drift in and out. I want someone I can tell my life story to because, even though I've grown up with some of my best friends they don't know everything, they mostly only know my school life. I wish that wasn't the case but it is. I want someone who has problems that I can help with while they help me with problems.
Who knows, maybe one of my friends will become that person for me, I kind of hope so but I don't think they will. I don't have enough in common with them. I kind of like being the group that just came together because we didn't have other friends, I feel like we're a bunch of misfits who get along, have fun and have formed great relationships with each other. We know that we don't have much in common with each other and we're okay with it.
I'd just like one person who I have a lot in common with. For some reason I feel like the internet is the best place to meet this person. Simply because there are so many people on here and the internet is such a big part on mine, and a lot of people on here's lives. It would make sense that people who spend so much time on the internet would find each other on there. I've seen it happen and every time I do I'm insanely jealous. I just want to be there with someone.
Maybe my problem is that I want too much. I don't want to want these things, I just do. There are some things you can't control about yourself.
Also, hi. I'm still down but this really helped yesterday night. I'm currently blaming hormones for this mood.
Sunday, 14 August 2011
BEDA Day 14: I guess I'm in a funk?
I don't know why but this past week or so I've been kind of down. For no real reason, I just haven't felt right. You may have been able to tell from my most recent posts, I haven't exactly been cheerful. I got like this sometimes and I hate it...I just can't seem to shake it off.
Writing this is making me feel worse so I'm going to go now...see you tomorrow!
Tonight I will carry on reading Julia Albain's book in the hope that it will help...it helped last night
Writing this is making me feel worse so I'm going to go now...see you tomorrow!
Tonight I will carry on reading Julia Albain's book in the hope that it will help...it helped last night
Saturday, 13 August 2011
BEDA Day 13: I'm Not Sad Today
There's a project/site someone has created on tumblr called imnotsadtoday and today I saw it on my dash (as usual) and really wanted to say something about/to it. However, it didn't seem right to tell it to them in their ask, I don't know why but I couldn't say what I needed to say directly to them. If you regularly read this blog then you know that it's where I put the things I want to share but don't have anywhere to share them and this is one of those things...
I started off writing this in their ask:
To be honest, I'm not sad most days but I kind of haven't felt like I could submit here because I don't have a story as to why I was sad/am not sad, I'm lucky enough to be quite happy at the moment and to have been for some time. In a way I guess I don't feel like I should be on this site if being happy isn't a rare thing for me. I don't want to sound like I'm bragging or insulting you guys, I think this is a great site.
But then I didn't think it sounded right, saying those things and I needed to say other things but didn't know how so I stopped and put it here instead. I'm basically going to write this out again but a lot longer and I'll probably add a lot...
I have followed I'm Not Sad Today basically since it began and I've always thought what an amazing thing it is, it's truly inspiring. Yet I've never felt like I could submit something. I think the main reason is because I don't have a story. As I said earlier, I'm lucky enough not to be sad a lot of the time. I haven't been truly sad in a long time and I'm very happy and thankful for that fact. But because of this I don't feel like I can submit something.
I have been through stuff. I lost my dad when I was 11 but while it was horrible and I was distraught about it, I was never depressed. Like properly depressed. I just kind of got on with it. I've never really got truly depressed, I tend to just get through things. I am extremely lucky with that and I know it. I just wish it didn't make me feel bad when I see people who've been through depression, I wish I could help.
That's all I can say tonight.
I think I'm going to go read Julia Albain's book tonight. I feel like that's what I need.
I started off writing this in their ask:
To be honest, I'm not sad most days but I kind of haven't felt like I could submit here because I don't have a story as to why I was sad/am not sad, I'm lucky enough to be quite happy at the moment and to have been for some time. In a way I guess I don't feel like I should be on this site if being happy isn't a rare thing for me. I don't want to sound like I'm bragging or insulting you guys, I think this is a great site.
But then I didn't think it sounded right, saying those things and I needed to say other things but didn't know how so I stopped and put it here instead. I'm basically going to write this out again but a lot longer and I'll probably add a lot...
I have followed I'm Not Sad Today basically since it began and I've always thought what an amazing thing it is, it's truly inspiring. Yet I've never felt like I could submit something. I think the main reason is because I don't have a story. As I said earlier, I'm lucky enough not to be sad a lot of the time. I haven't been truly sad in a long time and I'm very happy and thankful for that fact. But because of this I don't feel like I can submit something.
I have been through stuff. I lost my dad when I was 11 but while it was horrible and I was distraught about it, I was never depressed. Like properly depressed. I just kind of got on with it. I've never really got truly depressed, I tend to just get through things. I am extremely lucky with that and I know it. I just wish it didn't make me feel bad when I see people who've been through depression, I wish I could help.
That's all I can say tonight.
I think I'm going to go read Julia Albain's book tonight. I feel like that's what I need.
Friday, 12 August 2011
BEDA Day 12: Social media
Before you read this blog watch this video. http://youtu.be/_jsxICZFB2Q
I found it because Julia Albain tweeted it and thank God she did because it's inspired me with what to write about today! The video more or less says what I wanted to say in my blog about the internet earlier on this month. Why is it that others can say what I'm thinking so perfectly, yet I struggle to put my thoughts into blogs that make sense?
At the end of the video it says "We are in the midst of something special. You've got the love. How will you share it?" and it's that statement which really inspired me today. I believe we are in the midst of something special. Thanks to social media I know so many more people. It's such a special thing to be experiencing. We are literally living the change.
One thing that truly baffled me was when it said "more words are being written everyday on twitter than Shakespeare wrote in his whole life". That's really struck a chord with me because the internet has made me appreciate writing and reading more. In a way I've gone the opposite way to most people. It seems like (at one point at least) the internet was killing reading and books etc. but honestly, it's got me back into books. Finding books on here that others love has made me read them and love them. The internet has made me want to read. It has also brought writing back in my life. I think I've mentioned it before but when I was younger I used to want to be a writer and started (but never finished) writing countless stories and always gave up. I just stopped trying one day. Then I got a blog. This blog has changed me. It has made me love writing again, it's not the same type of writing but it's still writing. Until I read that I thought that it wasn't too common for the internet to have made people love writing more but now I think that the internet has inspired a new way of writing; one that everyone can take part in.
I suppose the ultimate message of the video is that we can change things through the internet. We can do good with the influence we have on here and that is definitely something I want to act on. I do want to make a difference and help people and I want to do part of it here, on the internet. But I'll talk more about that in a different blog.
I found it because Julia Albain tweeted it and thank God she did because it's inspired me with what to write about today! The video more or less says what I wanted to say in my blog about the internet earlier on this month. Why is it that others can say what I'm thinking so perfectly, yet I struggle to put my thoughts into blogs that make sense?
At the end of the video it says "We are in the midst of something special. You've got the love. How will you share it?" and it's that statement which really inspired me today. I believe we are in the midst of something special. Thanks to social media I know so many more people. It's such a special thing to be experiencing. We are literally living the change.
One thing that truly baffled me was when it said "more words are being written everyday on twitter than Shakespeare wrote in his whole life". That's really struck a chord with me because the internet has made me appreciate writing and reading more. In a way I've gone the opposite way to most people. It seems like (at one point at least) the internet was killing reading and books etc. but honestly, it's got me back into books. Finding books on here that others love has made me read them and love them. The internet has made me want to read. It has also brought writing back in my life. I think I've mentioned it before but when I was younger I used to want to be a writer and started (but never finished) writing countless stories and always gave up. I just stopped trying one day. Then I got a blog. This blog has changed me. It has made me love writing again, it's not the same type of writing but it's still writing. Until I read that I thought that it wasn't too common for the internet to have made people love writing more but now I think that the internet has inspired a new way of writing; one that everyone can take part in.
I suppose the ultimate message of the video is that we can change things through the internet. We can do good with the influence we have on here and that is definitely something I want to act on. I do want to make a difference and help people and I want to do part of it here, on the internet. But I'll talk more about that in a different blog.
Thursday, 11 August 2011
BEDA Day 11: This turned into things I have discovered about myself
I'm not sure what to write about today so I'm just going to start and see where it ends up...
For a while now I've been thinking about my position in my group of friends. It's a weird thing to think about I guess but my brain just kind of started on it and didn't stop. In many ways I feel like a mother figure in my group of friends. Most of the time I organize the get togethers we have, I'm almost expected to do it by now. Also, for some reason, my friends always seem to tell me when someone else in the group is bothering them. It happens quite a lot when we're out together to be honest. But I love it. I don't tend to show that I love it, I tend to shrug it off or complain but I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. I kind of love being the person that people go to. It can be annoying, trying to organize everyone but it's also kind of second nature to me.
Another thing I've learnt about myself recently is that I love it when things go wrong and you're forced to work something else out. In a way it's a thrill to me when plans don't go right because it means that I have to come up with a different course of action on the spot and I kind of love doing that. Again, I have no idea why but it's exciting to me. I like having to think on the spot and solving things.
I've also found that I have become more honest. I really noticed this when I was signing yearbooks at the end of school. Instead of just writing "good luck from Kathryn" to everyone I made sure I said something different for each one. It just didn't seem right not to have something personal in my messages in people's yearbooks.
Also, I have crossed the point where I care what people I don't care about think about me. I just don't care anymore. Until about February this year I cared what the people at school (who weren't my friends) thought of me. But then something changed and I stopped caring. I don't see why I should. They can say what they want about or to me, I don't have to put up with it. I used to want to be friends with the "popular" people. I wanted loads of friends and I wanted to be "cool". But then the people I wanted to be obviously didn't like me, most of my form teased our group of friends for a few years and as a group we stopped caring about them. We decided they weren't worth it but I still cared about them a little bit, I made an effort on non uniform days because I wanted them to think I looked good. But then, at some point in the last year I stopped. I wore what I wanted to the last few non uniform days, I didn't care as long as I was comfy.
But I'm also quite impressionable and insecure. As you can tell, I'm not very sure of my beliefs or opinions a lot of the time so I tend to take up other people's opinions very quickly. I don't have many opinions that are truly mine. I hear what other people say and I tend to take on the same mindset until someone makes a better point against it...
For a while now I've been thinking about my position in my group of friends. It's a weird thing to think about I guess but my brain just kind of started on it and didn't stop. In many ways I feel like a mother figure in my group of friends. Most of the time I organize the get togethers we have, I'm almost expected to do it by now. Also, for some reason, my friends always seem to tell me when someone else in the group is bothering them. It happens quite a lot when we're out together to be honest. But I love it. I don't tend to show that I love it, I tend to shrug it off or complain but I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. I kind of love being the person that people go to. It can be annoying, trying to organize everyone but it's also kind of second nature to me.
Another thing I've learnt about myself recently is that I love it when things go wrong and you're forced to work something else out. In a way it's a thrill to me when plans don't go right because it means that I have to come up with a different course of action on the spot and I kind of love doing that. Again, I have no idea why but it's exciting to me. I like having to think on the spot and solving things.
I've also found that I have become more honest. I really noticed this when I was signing yearbooks at the end of school. Instead of just writing "good luck from Kathryn" to everyone I made sure I said something different for each one. It just didn't seem right not to have something personal in my messages in people's yearbooks.
Also, I have crossed the point where I care what people I don't care about think about me. I just don't care anymore. Until about February this year I cared what the people at school (who weren't my friends) thought of me. But then something changed and I stopped caring. I don't see why I should. They can say what they want about or to me, I don't have to put up with it. I used to want to be friends with the "popular" people. I wanted loads of friends and I wanted to be "cool". But then the people I wanted to be obviously didn't like me, most of my form teased our group of friends for a few years and as a group we stopped caring about them. We decided they weren't worth it but I still cared about them a little bit, I made an effort on non uniform days because I wanted them to think I looked good. But then, at some point in the last year I stopped. I wore what I wanted to the last few non uniform days, I didn't care as long as I was comfy.
But I'm also quite impressionable and insecure. As you can tell, I'm not very sure of my beliefs or opinions a lot of the time so I tend to take up other people's opinions very quickly. I don't have many opinions that are truly mine. I hear what other people say and I tend to take on the same mindset until someone makes a better point against it...
Wednesday, 10 August 2011
BEDA Day 10: People
Woah. We're into double figures of BEDA! I think it's going well so far, not sure how I'll feel in a week or so but it's going good for now.
Today I want to do a kind of follow up blog to my rant yesterday. I've been planning this blog for a while and after yesterday I think it's the best time to do it. I'm being unnecessarily vague right now. If you've read the title you all ready know that today I'm going to blog about people. It's kind of a vast topic but there are thing's I've been thinking about for a long time that I just want to write down...
I believe that people are one of the greatest things in the world. Great in bad ways as well as good. Fellow human beings are the one thing that seems to evoke strong emotions in me. I can feel so much love for some people, yet others can annoy me so much and make me so angry. Thinking about it, I feel like people are the only thing that cause true emotion in me. For some people beauty causes them to feel but honestly, I can appreciate beautiful landscapes etc. but they don't stir up emotions. At the end of the day it's people and their behaviour that get me.
My life motto for a long time has been "people are silly" and I think I will always have that opinion. People do the stupidest things (example: rioting) and can sometimes make the worst decisions. My 16 years experiencing people has taught me that people can be infuriating and will probably let you down. For some reason, a lot of people believe what I consider to be stupid things and act on them in the worst ways.
Despite these things, I think that people are wonderful. There's nothing that beats them. For every stupid person out there, there must be at lease one person who has a kind heart and will be there to help if they are needed. I feel so much love for so many people: my friends, StarKid and the people who helped clean up after the riots are just a few people who make me explode with love. People help others. They create so many great ways to help others. Yes, people can hurt others but people can also help those who have been hurt. Sometimes someone will do or say something that will help someone so much. Simple words can do everything. I've seen an amazing project take form on tumblr and words in a book have changed the way I think. It is all because of people. Humans have an amazing power to help and influence people for the better. Maybe that's why I love people so much. If we want to we can do anything.
I'd like to go back to these riots for a bit. Everything I saw about the people rioting yesterday angered me. But then I saw what people were doing to help. I've seen people all over the country coming out to help re build what the riots destroyed. People are coming together to repair our communities. I've seen pictures of normal people out there trying to stop riots and protecting their local shopping centre just in case. It's inspiring. I believe that people can and are making the best out of terrible situations. Sometimes bad things cause unbelievably amazing things and it's all because of certain people's reactions to them.
I'm kind of having a hard time expressing what I really mean so that's all I can say right now. If you have read Julia Albain's book then I basically agree with everything she says about people. Reading it I was saying "Yes! That's what I think! Thank you for putting it into words!" If you've read it, you'll probably know what I mean, if not just ignore that.
This is all my opinion, I understand if you think opposite, it's just how I feel.
Quote of the day:
"Our lives are our relationships"
Today I want to do a kind of follow up blog to my rant yesterday. I've been planning this blog for a while and after yesterday I think it's the best time to do it. I'm being unnecessarily vague right now. If you've read the title you all ready know that today I'm going to blog about people. It's kind of a vast topic but there are thing's I've been thinking about for a long time that I just want to write down...
I believe that people are one of the greatest things in the world. Great in bad ways as well as good. Fellow human beings are the one thing that seems to evoke strong emotions in me. I can feel so much love for some people, yet others can annoy me so much and make me so angry. Thinking about it, I feel like people are the only thing that cause true emotion in me. For some people beauty causes them to feel but honestly, I can appreciate beautiful landscapes etc. but they don't stir up emotions. At the end of the day it's people and their behaviour that get me.
My life motto for a long time has been "people are silly" and I think I will always have that opinion. People do the stupidest things (example: rioting) and can sometimes make the worst decisions. My 16 years experiencing people has taught me that people can be infuriating and will probably let you down. For some reason, a lot of people believe what I consider to be stupid things and act on them in the worst ways.
Despite these things, I think that people are wonderful. There's nothing that beats them. For every stupid person out there, there must be at lease one person who has a kind heart and will be there to help if they are needed. I feel so much love for so many people: my friends, StarKid and the people who helped clean up after the riots are just a few people who make me explode with love. People help others. They create so many great ways to help others. Yes, people can hurt others but people can also help those who have been hurt. Sometimes someone will do or say something that will help someone so much. Simple words can do everything. I've seen an amazing project take form on tumblr and words in a book have changed the way I think. It is all because of people. Humans have an amazing power to help and influence people for the better. Maybe that's why I love people so much. If we want to we can do anything.
I'd like to go back to these riots for a bit. Everything I saw about the people rioting yesterday angered me. But then I saw what people were doing to help. I've seen people all over the country coming out to help re build what the riots destroyed. People are coming together to repair our communities. I've seen pictures of normal people out there trying to stop riots and protecting their local shopping centre just in case. It's inspiring. I believe that people can and are making the best out of terrible situations. Sometimes bad things cause unbelievably amazing things and it's all because of certain people's reactions to them.
I'm kind of having a hard time expressing what I really mean so that's all I can say right now. If you have read Julia Albain's book then I basically agree with everything she says about people. Reading it I was saying "Yes! That's what I think! Thank you for putting it into words!" If you've read it, you'll probably know what I mean, if not just ignore that.
This is all my opinion, I understand if you think opposite, it's just how I feel.
Quote of the day:
"Our lives are our relationships"
Tuesday, 9 August 2011
BEDA Day 9: Riots
Unless you've been living under a rock today you will know about the riots happening all over the UK. They're fun. I know that riots have been happening since Saturday but I really wasn't aware of them until today. It was so bad last night that it seems the whole world is talking about them. I can't believe what's happening in our country. It is so weird to see hashtags like PrayForLondon trending. I'm used to seeing them about other places, never anywhere in the UK, it's weird.
These riots really annoy me. It just reminds me that people are stupid. I can understand people protesting about not having enough information about someone being killed but the violence is just pointless. As I know it, they started as a peaceful protest which some stupid people decided to turn violent. I just don't see why. If you are doing this then you are hurting people. You are not only destroying livelihoods but you are also destroying your own towns and cities. It is disgusting and I cannot understand why anyone would do this. It's not fun. It won't help anything. It will just damage your prospects in later life. Mindless violence. That's all it is and I don't get it.
What really gets me about this whole thing, though is the fact that it's teenagers or youths (as the press are calling them) that are doing this. Do they really think doing this will make people respect our generation more? It won't. It'll just give people a worse view of us then they all ready have and in this country teenagers are all ready blamed for so much. It seems to be a common opinion that everyone ages 13-19 are chavs who are up to no good. We're not. We're not all wandering around in black looking depressed either. Some of us are just like grown ups, we've just lived a little less. It annoys me to no end that we're all tarnished with the same brush. Honestly, I don't blame people for thinking we're all violent criminals. We don't exactly get the best coverage in the press, the only things people who don't know teenagers hear about us is the bad things that a minority are doing. I just wish people would stop giving them more fuel.
I have a few theories about why this is happening. As with a lot of people, I partially blame the government. I don't know much about politics etc. but I know enough to know that cuts have been made to youth services and I thing that this may be a big contributing factor. It's the summer holidays. People have been off school for a couple of weeks and they're starting to get bored, it's inevitable. Unfortunately, when some people get bored they will find dangerous things to do. People have got bored and decided to copy what other people did because there's no where else to go. That's why I think it's started. I also feel like there is the thought "they don't like/respect us so why should we?" behind a lot of this. I understand this. I, myself have thought this about teachers, I have deliberately acted up because a supply teacher wasn't showing us respect and the rest of the class were. So I know how they're feeling. But I still can't understand why they're being violent. I can never understand violence, I guess it's just not in my nature. Fighting things with force seems like the stupidest thing; if you push someone they're going to push back.
Thankfully I haven't been personally affected by the riots (touch wood). They were mostly around the London area but it seems like they are slowly making their way through the country. I live in a town in between Manchester and Liverpool and it seems like things have gotten pretty bad in Manchester. It's scary. There were rumors that it was happening in my town but it was just people shit stiring on facebook. Thank God. What is really sick though, is that there is at least one group promoting riots in my town. It's sick. Why would you want to destroy your own town? It's your home. I don't care how bad you think it is, it could be a lot worse.
The moral of today's blog: people are stupid. I will never understand them.
These riots really annoy me. It just reminds me that people are stupid. I can understand people protesting about not having enough information about someone being killed but the violence is just pointless. As I know it, they started as a peaceful protest which some stupid people decided to turn violent. I just don't see why. If you are doing this then you are hurting people. You are not only destroying livelihoods but you are also destroying your own towns and cities. It is disgusting and I cannot understand why anyone would do this. It's not fun. It won't help anything. It will just damage your prospects in later life. Mindless violence. That's all it is and I don't get it.
What really gets me about this whole thing, though is the fact that it's teenagers or youths (as the press are calling them) that are doing this. Do they really think doing this will make people respect our generation more? It won't. It'll just give people a worse view of us then they all ready have and in this country teenagers are all ready blamed for so much. It seems to be a common opinion that everyone ages 13-19 are chavs who are up to no good. We're not. We're not all wandering around in black looking depressed either. Some of us are just like grown ups, we've just lived a little less. It annoys me to no end that we're all tarnished with the same brush. Honestly, I don't blame people for thinking we're all violent criminals. We don't exactly get the best coverage in the press, the only things people who don't know teenagers hear about us is the bad things that a minority are doing. I just wish people would stop giving them more fuel.
I have a few theories about why this is happening. As with a lot of people, I partially blame the government. I don't know much about politics etc. but I know enough to know that cuts have been made to youth services and I thing that this may be a big contributing factor. It's the summer holidays. People have been off school for a couple of weeks and they're starting to get bored, it's inevitable. Unfortunately, when some people get bored they will find dangerous things to do. People have got bored and decided to copy what other people did because there's no where else to go. That's why I think it's started. I also feel like there is the thought "they don't like/respect us so why should we?" behind a lot of this. I understand this. I, myself have thought this about teachers, I have deliberately acted up because a supply teacher wasn't showing us respect and the rest of the class were. So I know how they're feeling. But I still can't understand why they're being violent. I can never understand violence, I guess it's just not in my nature. Fighting things with force seems like the stupidest thing; if you push someone they're going to push back.
Thankfully I haven't been personally affected by the riots (touch wood). They were mostly around the London area but it seems like they are slowly making their way through the country. I live in a town in between Manchester and Liverpool and it seems like things have gotten pretty bad in Manchester. It's scary. There were rumors that it was happening in my town but it was just people shit stiring on facebook. Thank God. What is really sick though, is that there is at least one group promoting riots in my town. It's sick. Why would you want to destroy your own town? It's your home. I don't care how bad you think it is, it could be a lot worse.
The moral of today's blog: people are stupid. I will never understand them.
Monday, 8 August 2011
BEDA Day 8: A Bang on the head...
So today I gained a huge lump on my forehead. That was fun. I went to volunteering as normal today and we had a new little boy and he decided he liked me. After lunch he was hugging me and decided to sit down, without letting me go. The problem was that there was a wall and window ledge in the way. So my head got a bit of a beating. That was fun.
I'm fine though, I still have a big lump but it's a lot smaller than it was. It was huge at first! But apparently that's a good thing so it's all good and ice has been on my head a lot.
That's all really, I'm very tired at the moment and just don't feel like doing a big blog right now so I'm going to leave it there for today...
I'm fine though, I still have a big lump but it's a lot smaller than it was. It was huge at first! But apparently that's a good thing so it's all good and ice has been on my head a lot.
That's all really, I'm very tired at the moment and just don't feel like doing a big blog right now so I'm going to leave it there for today...
Sunday, 7 August 2011
BEDA Day 7: Religion and stuff
Today is Sunday: traditionally the day of religion I guess. Well, it's the day of christianity at least, it's the day most people go to church etc. So what better day for me to get my views about religion out there?
I was kind of brought up christian. I went to church every Sunday (still do) and went to a church of england primary school but my parents were never very religious. My dad wasn't at all religious but my mum took me to church. We only really started going to church so that I could get into the primary school I went to but, unlike a lot of others, we didn't stop going once I'd got into the school. I don't think my mum thought it was right to just go to get into the school and then just stop so we carried on. We're still there 12 years later.
As I've grown up I've always said I was a christian just because I went to church but now I'm not too sure. I've thought about it a lot and have come to some conclusions about what I believe about God and everything.
I feel like there has to be a God. There has to be something else out there, we can't just have happened. I don't know what but something must have set our existence off and I don't believe that it just happened by chance. But I can't put my finger on what created us. I have no idea what is out there but I know I can't believe that we are alone. It's just not something that I think can be possible. I also don't think that it can be the end when we die; there has to be something else, there just has to be. Again, I have no idea what, I just don't really see why we would be here if there wasn't something at the other end. That's just how I feel about our situation in this place we call the universe.
Also, fighting between religions annoy me. Based on what I have learnt in RS at school, most religions have the same concepts. They all seem to be based around the fact that there is a God and an afterlife so we need to be good people and worship them in order to have a good afterlife. There are many variations but to me they all seem to be sending that message out, just within different variations. So people fighting because someone is x religion and they are y religion seems like the stupidest thing to me. As far as I know all religions are against violence and killing so that shouldn't happen. It's just one of the many things that happen that remind me how much humans annoy me. To me, the basis of religion seems to be to be a good person and you will be rewarded. This is something that I agree with. I don't know how or when people are rewarded for doing good things but I feel like we are. It's just another thing I feel has to happen.
I do know what science says about religion, I've studied it in school but there are just some things that I don't think science explains properly. The problem is, we can never truly know how the world was made or what is out there. We have no way of knowing what made the universe, we can only ever come up with theories. It kind of bugs me that some theories are taken as hard facts nowadays. Mainly the big bang theory. The fact that so many people just take it and teach it as fact kind of bugs me because it isn't fact: it is the most widely accepted theory. I don't completely disagree with the theory but I take it as a theory and just a theory because I know that we can never know what happened when the universe was created and I accept it. I'd love to know but I won't ever know and I'm fine with that.
As you can probably gather, I don't know a lot about what happens. I don't even know what I'm thinking a lot of the time but getting it down in writing helps me to sort it out in my head.
This was probably an "unpopular opinions" blog but hey, they're my opinions!
Saturday, 6 August 2011
BEDA Day 6
Today was a good day. Our group of friends went out again and, as usual, we had fun. Nothing very exciting happened really, we just hung out so I'm not really going to talk about it here not because it's private, just because it wasn't too exciting.
Right now I'm feeling kind of down though. I have no clue why, I'm just not that happy at this moment. I had a great day and there's no specific reason why I'm feeling down, I just am. I get like this every now and again and I don't know how to stop it or what to do, maybe it's just part of being me? I don't know.
For some reason I started thinking about relationships and whatnot. Like, the romantic kind. I don't often talk about this stuff on here but I feel like I need/want to today. I want a relationship. But I'm not bothered about the physical side so much, I just want the closeness. I want someone to cuddle with, someone who'll look after me and someone I know will always be there to cheer me up if I need it. I just want someone to belong to and someone to belong to me. That sounds weird but it's just how I feel. I know a lot of people (especially boys) my age only care about the sex side of a relationship; they only seem to want that part at this age. But I don't care about that I would much rather watch TV with someone special. I just want to closeness, the feeling of your partner being your best friend that seems to happen so much on TV but never in real life.
I've felt kind of lonely for a while, I've wanted the things above for quite a long time to be honest. I never seem to be able to get it though and I don't know what to do about it. Maybe the problem is that I build up ideals in my head; ideals that are never met. Therefore, I am always disappointed by what happens. I still do it though and I don't know how to stop, I just want what I can't find.
Those are just some feelings I've had for a very long time that I felt needed to be put into words and these are those words.
Right now I'm feeling kind of down though. I have no clue why, I'm just not that happy at this moment. I had a great day and there's no specific reason why I'm feeling down, I just am. I get like this every now and again and I don't know how to stop it or what to do, maybe it's just part of being me? I don't know.
For some reason I started thinking about relationships and whatnot. Like, the romantic kind. I don't often talk about this stuff on here but I feel like I need/want to today. I want a relationship. But I'm not bothered about the physical side so much, I just want the closeness. I want someone to cuddle with, someone who'll look after me and someone I know will always be there to cheer me up if I need it. I just want someone to belong to and someone to belong to me. That sounds weird but it's just how I feel. I know a lot of people (especially boys) my age only care about the sex side of a relationship; they only seem to want that part at this age. But I don't care about that I would much rather watch TV with someone special. I just want to closeness, the feeling of your partner being your best friend that seems to happen so much on TV but never in real life.
I've felt kind of lonely for a while, I've wanted the things above for quite a long time to be honest. I never seem to be able to get it though and I don't know what to do about it. Maybe the problem is that I build up ideals in my head; ideals that are never met. Therefore, I am always disappointed by what happens. I still do it though and I don't know how to stop, I just want what I can't find.
Those are just some feelings I've had for a very long time that I felt needed to be put into words and these are those words.
Friday, 5 August 2011
BEDA Day 5: Happiness
Today I went on a trip as part of the volunteering I'm doing. I really enjoyed it; seeing all the kids happy made me unbelievably happy and it got me thinking about happiness and the ways people can be made happy etc. It's obvious that there are many ways of making people happy and everyone is made happy by different things. For some it's people possessions, for some it's friends and family and for some people it could be as simple as a kind word from the right person.
Recently I have discovered that it is people who make me happiest. More specifically it's people who are happy in general or have been made happy due to something I have contributed to. For example, today I found myself grinning like an idiot when some of the children were messing about and when you could see how much fun they were having. Seeing a look of pure happiness is the best thing in the world to me. Especially on the children I've been helping. There's just something magical about it, maybe it's because I know that I have helped, I have been able to make that child happy for a bit, I have helped make their day a good one. I can't really explain how good it makes me feel.
The same goes for my friends. I am perfectly happy to just sit back and watch my friends have fun. For example, on Wednesday when we were in Toys R Us I spent most of my time walking behind my friends being children. But I loved it. I've done it before; just watching my friends have fun is probably one of my favourite things to do. However, I feel like this is for different (yet similar) reasons. I feel like I love this so much because they are the people I love the most. Often I haven't contributed to their fun, I'm just seeing it but seeing it is enough. My friends are my family, they are the people I am closest to and the ones who I can always count on to have a good time with. So seeing them happy means a lot because I am seeing the people a love happy and I think that makes most people happy in some way.
It's not just people I know being happy, though. I am fascinated by people I see randomly who are happy. I love people watching, I could do it all day. I could watch a little girl running through birds or a group of friends laughing together and be happy. It's just something I love.
Again, just wanted to put this out there...
Recently I have discovered that it is people who make me happiest. More specifically it's people who are happy in general or have been made happy due to something I have contributed to. For example, today I found myself grinning like an idiot when some of the children were messing about and when you could see how much fun they were having. Seeing a look of pure happiness is the best thing in the world to me. Especially on the children I've been helping. There's just something magical about it, maybe it's because I know that I have helped, I have been able to make that child happy for a bit, I have helped make their day a good one. I can't really explain how good it makes me feel.
The same goes for my friends. I am perfectly happy to just sit back and watch my friends have fun. For example, on Wednesday when we were in Toys R Us I spent most of my time walking behind my friends being children. But I loved it. I've done it before; just watching my friends have fun is probably one of my favourite things to do. However, I feel like this is for different (yet similar) reasons. I feel like I love this so much because they are the people I love the most. Often I haven't contributed to their fun, I'm just seeing it but seeing it is enough. My friends are my family, they are the people I am closest to and the ones who I can always count on to have a good time with. So seeing them happy means a lot because I am seeing the people a love happy and I think that makes most people happy in some way.
It's not just people I know being happy, though. I am fascinated by people I see randomly who are happy. I love people watching, I could do it all day. I could watch a little girl running through birds or a group of friends laughing together and be happy. It's just something I love.
Again, just wanted to put this out there...
Thursday, 4 August 2011
BEDA Day 4: Internet friends
In todays blog I wanted to say a little bit about internet friends. If you have any social network site that is based around meeting or talking to new people then you'll know that you can meet some amazing people on the world wide web. I just want to put my thoughts about them out here...
Our generation are special because we are living through the internet age. More and more people are discovering the greatness of the internet; sites like twitter have enabled us to find and have relationships with new people. I feel like that is what the internet has become: a place to meet new people. I love this so much because it literally lets us be friends with people we may never meet and probably would definitely not talk to if we weren't on the internet. That is what is so special about our generation, we are living the change. I wonder if it will be normal for our children to have internet friends; I hope so!
Personally I have talked to many people over the internet but so far I have only ever become very close to one person. I met a boy who lives in America on Twitter and we talked and messaged a lot on facebook, I don't know why, we just got on and it was a purely friendship based relationship, it was great! We talked a lot and just generally got to know each other. However, about a year ago he disappeared from twitter and facebook. He just disappeared over night. After a few days he emailed me and said that his mum made him delete his social network sites because she freaked out about him having international friends. But he still wanted to keep in touch so we emailed for a few months. It was good, we were friends and talked every day. It sounds weird to write it down but it was just part of my day, he became a part of my life. After a few months, however, he suddenly stopped emailing. I emailed him asking what had happened many times and he was still updating his flickr so I know he was still alive/had internet but there was no response. I gave up emailing him when I changed my email address. But I miss him. Like I said, he was a friend. I think that may have meant more to me than it did to him but I still thought he considered me a friend. I don't know, I guess one of the bad things about internet friends is that it is very easy for them to cut contact with you (but that could be a good thing). Bottom line: I wish we never lost contact but I don't know what to do about it.
That wasn't really the best story to use to demonstrate the greatness of internet friendship but it's the only complete internet friendship I've made so far. However, that is slowly changing thanks to Team StarKid. Being a StarKid has changed a lot for me, as you know, but most importantly it has given me a whole fandom to talk to. I am part of an amazing facebook group of StarKid fans that just support each other. It is basically a big family; it started off as something that was given to the StarKids at LeakyCon and then turned into us just talking to each other. It is one of the best things I have ever joined. Luckily, I haven't had to but I know that there are people there who I can talk to if I need to; I've seen it happen with others. Also, tumblr has introduced me to some amazing people who I think (hope) will become very good friends.
This was a bit of a weird blog but I just wanted to put that out there.
Our generation are special because we are living through the internet age. More and more people are discovering the greatness of the internet; sites like twitter have enabled us to find and have relationships with new people. I feel like that is what the internet has become: a place to meet new people. I love this so much because it literally lets us be friends with people we may never meet and probably would definitely not talk to if we weren't on the internet. That is what is so special about our generation, we are living the change. I wonder if it will be normal for our children to have internet friends; I hope so!
Personally I have talked to many people over the internet but so far I have only ever become very close to one person. I met a boy who lives in America on Twitter and we talked and messaged a lot on facebook, I don't know why, we just got on and it was a purely friendship based relationship, it was great! We talked a lot and just generally got to know each other. However, about a year ago he disappeared from twitter and facebook. He just disappeared over night. After a few days he emailed me and said that his mum made him delete his social network sites because she freaked out about him having international friends. But he still wanted to keep in touch so we emailed for a few months. It was good, we were friends and talked every day. It sounds weird to write it down but it was just part of my day, he became a part of my life. After a few months, however, he suddenly stopped emailing. I emailed him asking what had happened many times and he was still updating his flickr so I know he was still alive/had internet but there was no response. I gave up emailing him when I changed my email address. But I miss him. Like I said, he was a friend. I think that may have meant more to me than it did to him but I still thought he considered me a friend. I don't know, I guess one of the bad things about internet friends is that it is very easy for them to cut contact with you (but that could be a good thing). Bottom line: I wish we never lost contact but I don't know what to do about it.
That wasn't really the best story to use to demonstrate the greatness of internet friendship but it's the only complete internet friendship I've made so far. However, that is slowly changing thanks to Team StarKid. Being a StarKid has changed a lot for me, as you know, but most importantly it has given me a whole fandom to talk to. I am part of an amazing facebook group of StarKid fans that just support each other. It is basically a big family; it started off as something that was given to the StarKids at LeakyCon and then turned into us just talking to each other. It is one of the best things I have ever joined. Luckily, I haven't had to but I know that there are people there who I can talk to if I need to; I've seen it happen with others. Also, tumblr has introduced me to some amazing people who I think (hope) will become very good friends.
This was a bit of a weird blog but I just wanted to put that out there.
Wednesday, 3 August 2011
BEDA Day 3: Friendsfriendsfriends Funfunfun
I have Wednesdays off from volunteering so I'm hope they're going to be my social days, today certainly was! A group of us had arranged to go out and about and just generally hang out today so that's what we did, it was totally awesome.
There's something about our friendship group that means that whenever we get together we turn into 5 year olds. It's so fun! Today we walked up to McDonalds for McFlurries as it was about 100 degrees and we were dying. So we sat, ate and talked, not being too immature yet. Towards the end deputy head of our high school and his son came in which was weird to say the least; it may or may not have been one of the reasons we left. However, we couldn't leave before crazy crazy-haired and short funny friends decided they wanted some balloons that were being put out for the little kids. I told you, we're immature! After they got their balloons while the rest of us walked out we just kind of walked and debated what to do next.
In our town McDonalds is very near to IKEA and Toys R Us so we were torn between playing a game of hide and seek in IKEA (new life goal right there) or having some fun in Toys R Us. Naturally, Toys R Us was chosen. I think we must have spent a good hour in there just playing with the toys and reliving our childhood. We sat on/in some toy cars and mini desks and beds and decided which ones we wanted. We found rumbleroar, some random animal toys and the life sized baby dolls that were all the range when we were kids. I found a few caterpillar things that I would actually put in my home, even though I have no kids, I just liked the colours. I took pictures of us being silly and worried about being chucked out. We also found our future homes! I consider it to be time well spent!
After that we walked back to near(er) our houses/ASDA and sat on a field for a bit until sweet guy friend had to go so we walked him to his house. The rest of us walked to ASDA to wait for parents/wait for everyone else to go and then leave. While we were loitering outside one of the shops we saw someone we know from choices and chatted a bit and it was fun. I have no idea why I turned into a 5 year old for a minute there.
That was my day! There was some StarKid talk, some Harry Potter talk and just some talk. I like talk. The main reason I write days like this down in here is because I want to remember them. I know it's impossible for me to remember every detail of the day but if I write it down on my blog it is permanent (unless I delete it, which I won't) and it will always be something I can look back on. I like to document the good times because I don't want to forget them. Even if I drift away from my friends I know they will always be special to me and I never ever want to not be able to know what they were like and the fun we shared. That is one of the reasons I take so many pictures. If I can look back on the fun times we had and read the people, date and place I feel like I will never forget them. I guess that is one of my biggest fears: forgetting the things that are special. It is ultimately the reason that I started writing in here.
There's something about our friendship group that means that whenever we get together we turn into 5 year olds. It's so fun! Today we walked up to McDonalds for McFlurries as it was about 100 degrees and we were dying. So we sat, ate and talked, not being too immature yet. Towards the end deputy head of our high school and his son came in which was weird to say the least; it may or may not have been one of the reasons we left. However, we couldn't leave before crazy crazy-haired and short funny friends decided they wanted some balloons that were being put out for the little kids. I told you, we're immature! After they got their balloons while the rest of us walked out we just kind of walked and debated what to do next.
In our town McDonalds is very near to IKEA and Toys R Us so we were torn between playing a game of hide and seek in IKEA (new life goal right there) or having some fun in Toys R Us. Naturally, Toys R Us was chosen. I think we must have spent a good hour in there just playing with the toys and reliving our childhood. We sat on/in some toy cars and mini desks and beds and decided which ones we wanted. We found rumbleroar, some random animal toys and the life sized baby dolls that were all the range when we were kids. I found a few caterpillar things that I would actually put in my home, even though I have no kids, I just liked the colours. I took pictures of us being silly and worried about being chucked out. We also found our future homes! I consider it to be time well spent!
After that we walked back to near(er) our houses/ASDA and sat on a field for a bit until sweet guy friend had to go so we walked him to his house. The rest of us walked to ASDA to wait for parents/wait for everyone else to go and then leave. While we were loitering outside one of the shops we saw someone we know from choices and chatted a bit and it was fun. I have no idea why I turned into a 5 year old for a minute there.
That was my day! There was some StarKid talk, some Harry Potter talk and just some talk. I like talk. The main reason I write days like this down in here is because I want to remember them. I know it's impossible for me to remember every detail of the day but if I write it down on my blog it is permanent (unless I delete it, which I won't) and it will always be something I can look back on. I like to document the good times because I don't want to forget them. Even if I drift away from my friends I know they will always be special to me and I never ever want to not be able to know what they were like and the fun we shared. That is one of the reasons I take so many pictures. If I can look back on the fun times we had and read the people, date and place I feel like I will never forget them. I guess that is one of my biggest fears: forgetting the things that are special. It is ultimately the reason that I started writing in here.
Tuesday, 2 August 2011
A note about fandoms
As most of you probably know, in the past few months I have recently become very involved in the StarKid fandom. That, inevitably, comes with the Harry Potter and Glee fandoms mixed in and I'm fine with that. While there are many things I love about this fandom, there are also some things that annoy me that I need to get off my chest so this blog is just going to be my thoughts on fandom things. If you're on tumblr this may make more sense but I'll try to make it make sense for everyone, hopefully it'll work.
Ever since joining tumblr I have found some amazing pictures/gifs/information/people relating to StarKid etc. and there is an amazing sense of community on there. You can connect to someone anywhere in the world purely because you love the same group of people. Tumblr is the place where you are almost garenteed to find at least one person who thinks in a similar way to you, someone you never thought you would be able to talk to. It really is a great website if you are a big fan of anything. There are also a lot of amazing people on there. Mostly it is a site for teenagers but, in between the drama and mess there is some great writing, some amazing projects and some great friends on there.
There is one bad thing about it mostly being teenage girls. The drama. Unfortunately, some people on tumblr seem to think they should send anonymous hate to people who are usually already quite sensitive. There is one particular person involved in the StarKid fandom that recieves a lot of hate because she has been lucky enough to meet and befriend the StarkKids in a way that most of us will not be able to. I don't know exactly what the hate she gets is like but I know that it can get very bad. To me, this is a product of jealousy and the fact that a lot of people wish they could have the experiences she has had. In my opinion, one of the reason she gets this is because this fandom is mainly made up of teenage girls and with all the hormones etc. we have to deal with, jealousy is a natural thing. Therefore, I feel like the hate is something that naturally happens, it doesn't mean that I am excusing these things or that I feel that they are rite in any way but I feel like it's an explanation for it. But that's just my theory, I might be wrong, I might be rite, I don't know. I must say, I have never experienced hate personally (touch wood and thank god) so I'm not actually speaking from personal experience, just what I have observed over time.
Something that just generally annoys me about the StarKid fandom is that some people seem to think they have the right to judge other fans because of how they came to be fans. A lot of people found StarKid through Glee and a lot of fans seem to feel as if knowing Darren and Team StarKid before Glee makes them special in the fandom. This particularly annoys me because I only discovered the amazingness of them after Darren was on Glee. I knew of them but it wasn't until I saw Darren on Glee that I thought I'd give AVPM another go and I loved it! But I hated seeing the comments saying "Like if you knew them before Glee" etc. because it made me feel bad that I was a new fan and not someone who was with them from the start. I still feel a bit like that to be honest. I don't feel like I can really be proud of Darren's success because I didn't know him before he was famous. I hate that I feel like that but I just do, I don't know if it will ever change.
This was more of a blog about tumblr, instead of the fandom but to me it's the same thing so there you go!
Ever since joining tumblr I have found some amazing pictures/gifs/information/people relating to StarKid etc. and there is an amazing sense of community on there. You can connect to someone anywhere in the world purely because you love the same group of people. Tumblr is the place where you are almost garenteed to find at least one person who thinks in a similar way to you, someone you never thought you would be able to talk to. It really is a great website if you are a big fan of anything. There are also a lot of amazing people on there. Mostly it is a site for teenagers but, in between the drama and mess there is some great writing, some amazing projects and some great friends on there.
There is one bad thing about it mostly being teenage girls. The drama. Unfortunately, some people on tumblr seem to think they should send anonymous hate to people who are usually already quite sensitive. There is one particular person involved in the StarKid fandom that recieves a lot of hate because she has been lucky enough to meet and befriend the StarkKids in a way that most of us will not be able to. I don't know exactly what the hate she gets is like but I know that it can get very bad. To me, this is a product of jealousy and the fact that a lot of people wish they could have the experiences she has had. In my opinion, one of the reason she gets this is because this fandom is mainly made up of teenage girls and with all the hormones etc. we have to deal with, jealousy is a natural thing. Therefore, I feel like the hate is something that naturally happens, it doesn't mean that I am excusing these things or that I feel that they are rite in any way but I feel like it's an explanation for it. But that's just my theory, I might be wrong, I might be rite, I don't know. I must say, I have never experienced hate personally (touch wood and thank god) so I'm not actually speaking from personal experience, just what I have observed over time.
Something that just generally annoys me about the StarKid fandom is that some people seem to think they have the right to judge other fans because of how they came to be fans. A lot of people found StarKid through Glee and a lot of fans seem to feel as if knowing Darren and Team StarKid before Glee makes them special in the fandom. This particularly annoys me because I only discovered the amazingness of them after Darren was on Glee. I knew of them but it wasn't until I saw Darren on Glee that I thought I'd give AVPM another go and I loved it! But I hated seeing the comments saying "Like if you knew them before Glee" etc. because it made me feel bad that I was a new fan and not someone who was with them from the start. I still feel a bit like that to be honest. I don't feel like I can really be proud of Darren's success because I didn't know him before he was famous. I hate that I feel like that but I just do, I don't know if it will ever change.
This was more of a blog about tumblr, instead of the fandom but to me it's the same thing so there you go!
Monday, 1 August 2011
BEDA Day 1: A bit of an introduction...
So, it's August! It's come around quick, yet slowly at the same time...even though that doesn't make much sense but, hey, that's me!
I haven't really updated here in a while because I just felt like I needed a bit of a break. I felt like I wasn't writing what I wanted to write in here and I just needed to stop for a bit. I still wrote, just in my private journal not on here. I don't know why, writing in this blog just wasn't helping, it was just confusing me more. Part of it might have been the fact that this is published for people to read and I want people to read it, it was just that I wasn't producing what I though was readable writing. If that makes any sense. So a wrote about 5 pages in my diary, taking me almost an hour but helping me unbelievably. So, that's what's been happening in those 5 days I didn't blog properly...I know 5 days isn't much for most bloggers but it seems like ages to me.
As you can probably tell I'm doing BEDA (blog every day in August). I don't know whether BEDA/VEDA is done as much in August as it is in April but, since I failed at it in April, I'm trying it out! I hope doing this will improve my writing. I've heard through a lot of people that the only way to improve your writing is to write so I'm taking their advice. I don't know how or when but I've really started to love writing and now it's something I'd like to explore further. Those are my reasons for doing this...
Thinking about it, today was a lot of firsts: the 1st of August; my first day volunteering; the first day of getting our bathroom redone and (of course) the first day of BEDA! I've mentioned volunteering before and it's something I was really nervcited about (a word I made up, a cross between nervous and excited) starting. My hopeful future job is to be a teacher in a special school so I'm volunteering with a local holiday play scheme for 4-19 year olds this summer to gain experience and make sure that this is really what I want to do. As I've mentioned, it was my first day today and I can't really say much more than that because of confidentiality stuff. I really enjoyed it though and I'm glad because I'm more sure of what I want to do but I may not think that way after four weeks of it so we'll see what happens!
As I mentioned above, it was the first day of us getting my bathroom re done today. In a way it's kind of weird for me because I have, literally, grown up in that bathroom. My parents got it done before I was born and it's more or less stayed the same throughout my life. The change table my parents used when I was a baby was still there and I think we might be putting it back, I'm not sure. Getting my bathroom redone is a bit like saying goodbye to a part of my childhood. Being involved in the Harry Potter fandom on tumblr has lead me to think more about the ending of my/our childhoods as a lot of people say the end of their childhood was the end of the Harry Potter film. It just got me thinking, we're all growing up and it's inevitable that we will have things that seem like they end our childhood because they were such a big part of our lives. When I was a child I didn't like watching movies and things like that so for me it's places and people who make up my childhood, places like my house and my primary school.
First day of BEDA: done! This wasn't really a blog about a lot, it was just some of my thoughts about stuff.
Today was awesome because: I walked home from volunteering.
I haven't really updated here in a while because I just felt like I needed a bit of a break. I felt like I wasn't writing what I wanted to write in here and I just needed to stop for a bit. I still wrote, just in my private journal not on here. I don't know why, writing in this blog just wasn't helping, it was just confusing me more. Part of it might have been the fact that this is published for people to read and I want people to read it, it was just that I wasn't producing what I though was readable writing. If that makes any sense. So a wrote about 5 pages in my diary, taking me almost an hour but helping me unbelievably. So, that's what's been happening in those 5 days I didn't blog properly...I know 5 days isn't much for most bloggers but it seems like ages to me.
As you can probably tell I'm doing BEDA (blog every day in August). I don't know whether BEDA/VEDA is done as much in August as it is in April but, since I failed at it in April, I'm trying it out! I hope doing this will improve my writing. I've heard through a lot of people that the only way to improve your writing is to write so I'm taking their advice. I don't know how or when but I've really started to love writing and now it's something I'd like to explore further. Those are my reasons for doing this...
Thinking about it, today was a lot of firsts: the 1st of August; my first day volunteering; the first day of getting our bathroom redone and (of course) the first day of BEDA! I've mentioned volunteering before and it's something I was really nervcited about (a word I made up, a cross between nervous and excited) starting. My hopeful future job is to be a teacher in a special school so I'm volunteering with a local holiday play scheme for 4-19 year olds this summer to gain experience and make sure that this is really what I want to do. As I've mentioned, it was my first day today and I can't really say much more than that because of confidentiality stuff. I really enjoyed it though and I'm glad because I'm more sure of what I want to do but I may not think that way after four weeks of it so we'll see what happens!
As I mentioned above, it was the first day of us getting my bathroom re done today. In a way it's kind of weird for me because I have, literally, grown up in that bathroom. My parents got it done before I was born and it's more or less stayed the same throughout my life. The change table my parents used when I was a baby was still there and I think we might be putting it back, I'm not sure. Getting my bathroom redone is a bit like saying goodbye to a part of my childhood. Being involved in the Harry Potter fandom on tumblr has lead me to think more about the ending of my/our childhoods as a lot of people say the end of their childhood was the end of the Harry Potter film. It just got me thinking, we're all growing up and it's inevitable that we will have things that seem like they end our childhood because they were such a big part of our lives. When I was a child I didn't like watching movies and things like that so for me it's places and people who make up my childhood, places like my house and my primary school.
First day of BEDA: done! This wasn't really a blog about a lot, it was just some of my thoughts about stuff.
Today was awesome because: I walked home from volunteering.
Thursday, 28 July 2011
Childhood by Rainer Marie Rilke
| It would be good to give much thought, before you try to find words for something so lost, for those long childhood afternoons you knew that vanished so completely -and why? We're still reminded-: sometimes by a rain, but we can no longer say what it means; life was never again so filled with meeting, with reunion and with passing on as back then, when nothing happened to us except what happens to things and creatures: we lived their world as something human, and became filled to the brim with figures. And became as lonely as a sheperd and as overburdened by vast distances, and summoned and stirred as from far away, and slowly, like a long new thread, introduced into that |
Wednesday, 27 July 2011
I get the feeling of needing a lot. A lot of times I'll read something or see something and I just feel like a certain thing has to happen. Usually it's not something that can happen in my life at this moment in time, I feel like I have a lot more goals that can only be accomplished in 6 years or so. I wish I could do more now but for some reason it just feels like I can't.
I think a lot of that feeling comes from my age. I'm 16 and, although a couple of years ago it seemed like being 16 meant you were all grown up and you did everything for yourself, I still feel very much like a child. Honestly, I don't do a lot of stuff without my mum and when I do I need her permission, I can't really just do things. Also, I look up to people who are 21-26 (ish) and they don't have the same restrictions. I would love to have half the experiences that my idol has had but I feel like I want them now but I can't have them now. because I'm too young.
I'm also very confused and want very opposite things at the same time. I want to travel. But I don't want to leave home. There are many reasons why I don't want to leave home but, at the moment, my feeling of need to travel and see just one new place is greater than the thing that's pulling me to this house I grew up in. Maybe that's part of growing up, conflicting desires and having to choose between them, I don't know.
Basically, what I think I'm trying to get at is the fact that I am inexperienced in life etc. and I want to become more experienced but I don't feel like I can right now. It's annoying. But maybe it will drive me to do more things when I can. I hope it does. Basically, I want to experience everything possible but can't find a way to do it right now. I think that's the message of this blog...I'm not to sure really.
This blog was semi inspired by Julia Albain's most recent blog. Yes, her again.
I think a lot of that feeling comes from my age. I'm 16 and, although a couple of years ago it seemed like being 16 meant you were all grown up and you did everything for yourself, I still feel very much like a child. Honestly, I don't do a lot of stuff without my mum and when I do I need her permission, I can't really just do things. Also, I look up to people who are 21-26 (ish) and they don't have the same restrictions. I would love to have half the experiences that my idol has had but I feel like I want them now but I can't have them now. because I'm too young.
I'm also very confused and want very opposite things at the same time. I want to travel. But I don't want to leave home. There are many reasons why I don't want to leave home but, at the moment, my feeling of need to travel and see just one new place is greater than the thing that's pulling me to this house I grew up in. Maybe that's part of growing up, conflicting desires and having to choose between them, I don't know.
Basically, what I think I'm trying to get at is the fact that I am inexperienced in life etc. and I want to become more experienced but I don't feel like I can right now. It's annoying. But maybe it will drive me to do more things when I can. I hope it does. Basically, I want to experience everything possible but can't find a way to do it right now. I think that's the message of this blog...I'm not to sure really.
This blog was semi inspired by Julia Albain's most recent blog. Yes, her again.
Tuesday, 26 July 2011
Stuffs-te-stuffs-te-stuffs
I meant to blog yesterday but I got lazy so I didn't, because I don't have to. But I should have. But no one checked so its all good. Now onto the blog...
Yesterday I went to an induction day for the volunteering I'm going to be doing in August. On the way there I was so unbelievably nervous, I think I was shaking a little bit. Usually, if I'm going to be doing a new thing/going to a new place I have at least one similar experience to compare it with but yesterday I didn't and it scared me so much. I don't know anyone who will be volunteering with me and it was just a completely new experience. Those scare me to death. I think it might be good for me to do more of those things though, it might make me a better person, you never know! Anyway, moving on from my anxiety. As I've said, it was a completely new experience for me and so I didn't want to be late or anything so I arrived super early. When I got there (shaking) I saw a couple of people going in and followed them. When I got to the entrance they were sat talking outside but I walked up to the door and the volunteer coordinator saw me and let us in. So that was good, kind of awkward but good. We waited for other people to come in, again it was a bit awkward but I'm a bit awkward so it's all good! Basically it was all good. Once everyone had arrived we did an ice breaker game where questions were asked and you had to go to certain sides for certain things. One disappointment there: one of the questions was facebook or twitter and there were only 2 of us for twitter. Warrington disappoints me. Oh well. After that we went in and had a presentation basically telling us what to expect when volunteering and stuff. It basically looks like I'm going to be playing for a month. That should be fun! We did some other activities and then got our CRB checks done. I'm all set for volunteering! Hopefully, since I'm going to be doing BEDA this August I'll have some good blog material from it!
So, I guess this is kind of a lame subject but its something I want to talk about and I have no where else to do it so I'm doing it here...
Yesterday, when we were watching Hollyoaks, one of the characters said to his boyfriend "we could be at a bus stop and it would still be special" and my mum turned to me and said "I hope you feel that way about someone someday." I don't know why, but this is something I feel like sharing. I agree with my mum but its just not really something we talk about and it was kind of weird for me, I didn't really know what to say. I don't know. That was just something I wanted to put out there...
I've talked a bit about Julia Albain a bit on here before but for some reason I really want to say a bit more about her so I am. If you read my blog regularly then you'll know that I read Julia's book at the start of this month and loved it! She has quickly become my favourite starkid because of many things: the way she writes is amazing; her book has honestly changed my outlook on life and she isn't perfect. That last reason is a bit of a weird reason, we usually idolize the people we think are perfect but for me doing that leads to self esteem issues. If I am idolizing someone who is stick thin it leads to me constantly wondering why I can't be that skinny etc. So for me, it is healthier to look up to people who lead healthy lifestyles but won't disappear if they turn sideways. That might sound like a slam on other people or like I'm saying something about Julia but it isn't meant to be, it's just the way my mind works I guess. Also, from reading her book you get the impression that
she is constantly working on herself, she always wants to make herself better which is something I really admire and I kind of identify with. Really, they are the reasons that I have come to love her so much. She just has this amazing way of looking at things and ever since reading her book I feel like I have started to see certain things differently. I first noticed this on holiday, I found myself more willing to absorb information at the various historical places we visited, something I wouldn't have done a year a go. Julia has also made me more committed to writing and, until I read her book, I don't think I really appreciated this blog and the opportunity to just write, no matter how good I am, just because I can and it helps me. I really feel like it's changed me as a person purely because it's given me someone to look up to and identify with, someone I don't think I had before. I can now say I have an idol, I may not be an actress or director but I look up to Julia Albain for her mindset more than her work.
Again, that was just something I wanted to get off my chest.
One last thing for today:
I have decided to give my friends blog names because I don't really want to use their names but I can't keep saying "my friend". These are the ones I have come up with so far:
Today was awesome because: Instead of walking like a normal person to give my mum something, I crawled and it was a lot faster and comfier than I would have been if I'd have walked. I think I should crawl more often.
Yesterday I went to an induction day for the volunteering I'm going to be doing in August. On the way there I was so unbelievably nervous, I think I was shaking a little bit. Usually, if I'm going to be doing a new thing/going to a new place I have at least one similar experience to compare it with but yesterday I didn't and it scared me so much. I don't know anyone who will be volunteering with me and it was just a completely new experience. Those scare me to death. I think it might be good for me to do more of those things though, it might make me a better person, you never know! Anyway, moving on from my anxiety. As I've said, it was a completely new experience for me and so I didn't want to be late or anything so I arrived super early. When I got there (shaking) I saw a couple of people going in and followed them. When I got to the entrance they were sat talking outside but I walked up to the door and the volunteer coordinator saw me and let us in. So that was good, kind of awkward but good. We waited for other people to come in, again it was a bit awkward but I'm a bit awkward so it's all good! Basically it was all good. Once everyone had arrived we did an ice breaker game where questions were asked and you had to go to certain sides for certain things. One disappointment there: one of the questions was facebook or twitter and there were only 2 of us for twitter. Warrington disappoints me. Oh well. After that we went in and had a presentation basically telling us what to expect when volunteering and stuff. It basically looks like I'm going to be playing for a month. That should be fun! We did some other activities and then got our CRB checks done. I'm all set for volunteering! Hopefully, since I'm going to be doing BEDA this August I'll have some good blog material from it!
So, I guess this is kind of a lame subject but its something I want to talk about and I have no where else to do it so I'm doing it here...
Yesterday, when we were watching Hollyoaks, one of the characters said to his boyfriend "we could be at a bus stop and it would still be special" and my mum turned to me and said "I hope you feel that way about someone someday." I don't know why, but this is something I feel like sharing. I agree with my mum but its just not really something we talk about and it was kind of weird for me, I didn't really know what to say. I don't know. That was just something I wanted to put out there...
I've talked a bit about Julia Albain a bit on here before but for some reason I really want to say a bit more about her so I am. If you read my blog regularly then you'll know that I read Julia's book at the start of this month and loved it! She has quickly become my favourite starkid because of many things: the way she writes is amazing; her book has honestly changed my outlook on life and she isn't perfect. That last reason is a bit of a weird reason, we usually idolize the people we think are perfect but for me doing that leads to self esteem issues. If I am idolizing someone who is stick thin it leads to me constantly wondering why I can't be that skinny etc. So for me, it is healthier to look up to people who lead healthy lifestyles but won't disappear if they turn sideways. That might sound like a slam on other people or like I'm saying something about Julia but it isn't meant to be, it's just the way my mind works I guess. Also, from reading her book you get the impression that
she is constantly working on herself, she always wants to make herself better which is something I really admire and I kind of identify with. Really, they are the reasons that I have come to love her so much. She just has this amazing way of looking at things and ever since reading her book I feel like I have started to see certain things differently. I first noticed this on holiday, I found myself more willing to absorb information at the various historical places we visited, something I wouldn't have done a year a go. Julia has also made me more committed to writing and, until I read her book, I don't think I really appreciated this blog and the opportunity to just write, no matter how good I am, just because I can and it helps me. I really feel like it's changed me as a person purely because it's given me someone to look up to and identify with, someone I don't think I had before. I can now say I have an idol, I may not be an actress or director but I look up to Julia Albain for her mindset more than her work.
Again, that was just something I wanted to get off my chest.
One last thing for today:
I have decided to give my friends blog names because I don't really want to use their names but I can't keep saying "my friend". These are the ones I have come up with so far:
- smarty-pants friend
- short funny friend
- crazy crazy haired friend
- dirty minded friend
- fringed friend
- sweet guy friend
- not gay guy friend
- smart arse guy friend
Those are what I have for now, if you are one of them you'll know which one! (I hope)
Today was awesome because: Instead of walking like a normal person to give my mum something, I crawled and it was a lot faster and comfier than I would have been if I'd have walked. I think I should crawl more often.
Sunday, 24 July 2011
Harry Potter and other such stuff
Yesterday was a fairly busy day, I think it sounds a lot busier than it felt but I guess I did a lot. I had another 2 birthday parties and a keyboard lesson. My keyboard lesson was just like my normal keyboard lesson so nothing to say there! Afterwards we went home, had lunch then went straight out again to our ex next door neighbour's 90th birthday party. That was, well, a 90th birthday party. Not really the place for a 16 year old but it could have been worse! Oh well, we went after a couple of hours because I had to get to one of my friend's birthday parties which this blog is essentially going to be about...
We arrived at my friend's with the plan to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 then go to the cinemas and watch part 2. So, that's what we did! We watched part 1 and talked/criticized/laughed through it, as we tend to do because we can't help it. Nothing really stands out from watching that, other than having Maccies for tea. After watching and eating we walked up to the cinema talking about the usual, StarKid stuff and everything. We got our tickets out and went to find seats in the (kind of) crowded screen then talked until/through the adverts.
I have a lot to say about the films so I'm go back to that good way of blogging I have: bullet pointing. So, here goes...
Our overall group experience with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2:
We arrived at my friend's with the plan to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 then go to the cinemas and watch part 2. So, that's what we did! We watched part 1 and talked/criticized/laughed through it, as we tend to do because we can't help it. Nothing really stands out from watching that, other than having Maccies for tea. After watching and eating we walked up to the cinema talking about the usual, StarKid stuff and everything. We got our tickets out and went to find seats in the (kind of) crowded screen then talked until/through the adverts.
I have a lot to say about the films so I'm go back to that good way of blogging I have: bullet pointing. So, here goes...
Our overall group experience with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2:
- First of all, we're pretty sure everyone in the cinema hated us. You'll see why by the end of the blog.
- Dirty minded friend ruined the film a little bit (in a jokey way) by telling me that she wanted to stick voldemort's wand up his nose every time she saw him. It's hard to take him seriously when you're thinking that every time you see him
- Our group were commenting pretty much until the battle of Hogwarts really began and we're not the quietest group of people
- Personally, the funniest occurrence was when one of the snatchers put his foot forward to check if the shield around Hogwarts had been broken and mad friend said "I take my foot" which resulted in explosions of laughter from our group. This was a very tense and serious moment and we were just laughing, quite loudly
- During a very very sad bit me and funny friend were crying, along with others I expect and then funny friend began laughing, making me laugh. This was, again, at a hugely inappropriate time and we were just laughing loudly again.
- As you can probably tell, our group was the loudest in the cinema and if you've seen the film then you know how funny the part where Voldemort hugs Draco is. However, our group must have been the only people who were laughing during this time. I have no idea why no one else was laughing at it, but no one else was and again, we were laughing.
So, that was how we ruined the movie for everyone else. I feel a bit bad but in another way it was just funny and I never regret laughing! I have to say though, my favourite part was when McGonagall had cast a particularly BAMF-esque charm and then turned to Mrs. Weasley and said "I've always wanted to do that." Just, love.
I also fell completely in love with Luna. That whole character is just amazing. I especially loved it when they were staying at a safe house somewhere and she saw the beauty in the wind chime. I have always and hope I will always see beauty in the little things and I automatically love the people who do that. She is one of those people who sees things slightly differently to everyone else and that just helps everything and that quality is one that I admire a lot. I think she is one of my favourite characters.
So, they are my opinions on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. I wasn't going to go see the film until I'd properly caught up with the movies and re read all the books but I've kind of done that and I'm actually glad I experienced the film like that for the first time with my friends in a full cinema.
After watching the film we went back to smart friend's house and had a sleepover. It was fun; we talked, we laughed, I woke up when no one else was awake as usual. It was also my 4th bithday celebration in 4 days. I feel slightly popular. It's weird having a social life...
Friday, 22 July 2011
Burn Baby Burn!
Yesterday us girls went over to one of our houses for a birthday/burning revision party. I hadn't seen some of my girls in at least 2 weeks and I missed them SO much and we always have fun when we're together so I was looking forward to it a lot! It didn't disappoint! As a group we are just completely crazy and within about 5 minutes I was laughing. Again, I forget what I was laughing at but I was laughing and laughter is fun, therefore laughter is good. We just kind of went a bit crazy then walked up to the chippy for tea and sang Going Back To Hogwarts on the way back. We decided that we're going to see the last Harry Potter on Saturday so we had a bit of a Harry Potter marathon while we were there.
After eating and watching Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone we went out and started the burning of revision in a BBQ! It was probably the most unsafe thing possible; six 16 year olds with matches, lighter fluid and a lot of paper. But no one died, or even got burned so it's all good! We must have spent at least an hour burning all our hard work for our GCSEs. It felt like a kind of goodbye, like it really was the end of them. I have to say though, throwing my revision folder on the fire as the very last thing felt great! We reduced our huge piles into a lump of ash and then went back in and watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban because apparently the second film is crap. Watching that produced the highlight of the night. Draco flew a picture that he'd drawn of Harry falling off his broom or something to him and we lost it. Completely, I still haven't fully gotten over it! This will only actually make sense to you if you've seen AVPM/S but it was hilarious! We sat there laughing for a good few minutes!
After watching that film we decided to just talk for a bit because there wasn't time to finish the next film before 5am. So we stayed up talking/laughing/telling stupid scary stories until about 4am. That was fun and once we eventually decided to go to sleep resulted in a bit of scaremongering. We managed to stay asleep until about 10:30 this morning, although I'd been dozing for a few hours before because I wake up with light (tres annoying). Once we were awake we had cake as breakfast and watched 2 more Harry Potter films and didn't go home until 3:30pmish! It was a good party!
Tomorrow we've got another friend's birthday party where we're watching the last Harry Potter so that should be just as fun!
I don't really have much else to say so I'm going to go....
Today was awesome because: Me and my friends didn't get dressed until her little brother was home from school!
After eating and watching Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone we went out and started the burning of revision in a BBQ! It was probably the most unsafe thing possible; six 16 year olds with matches, lighter fluid and a lot of paper. But no one died, or even got burned so it's all good! We must have spent at least an hour burning all our hard work for our GCSEs. It felt like a kind of goodbye, like it really was the end of them. I have to say though, throwing my revision folder on the fire as the very last thing felt great! We reduced our huge piles into a lump of ash and then went back in and watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban because apparently the second film is crap. Watching that produced the highlight of the night. Draco flew a picture that he'd drawn of Harry falling off his broom or something to him and we lost it. Completely, I still haven't fully gotten over it! This will only actually make sense to you if you've seen AVPM/S but it was hilarious! We sat there laughing for a good few minutes!
After watching that film we decided to just talk for a bit because there wasn't time to finish the next film before 5am. So we stayed up talking/laughing/telling stupid scary stories until about 4am. That was fun and once we eventually decided to go to sleep resulted in a bit of scaremongering. We managed to stay asleep until about 10:30 this morning, although I'd been dozing for a few hours before because I wake up with light (tres annoying). Once we were awake we had cake as breakfast and watched 2 more Harry Potter films and didn't go home until 3:30pmish! It was a good party!
Tomorrow we've got another friend's birthday party where we're watching the last Harry Potter so that should be just as fun!
I don't really have much else to say so I'm going to go....
Today was awesome because: Me and my friends didn't get dressed until her little brother was home from school!
Wednesday, 20 July 2011
Holiday part 3 + my day!
For the last few days of our holiday we drove to Bishop Aukland which is near Durham. The Saturday we got there was the second StarKid live chat and I was excited because we were staying at a premiere inn with internet so I could watch it! One problem though; it cost quite a lot and didn't work very well. After a lot of cafuffle we finally got it working but it cut out part way though. But at least I got to see part of it and some amazing person put it on YouTube so I can see it over and over again! That was basically the first night there.
We only had one full day in Bishop Aukland so we went into Durham. Unfortunately I felt ill for the first hour or so when we were there so I couldn't fully appreciate it at first but after lunch I felt SO much better! Food seems to make me feel better at the moment! After lunch we walked around in the rain a bit then went into the big Cathedral that was built for a monk's grave...fancy stuff! It was nice and churchy and I don't have much else to say about it to be honest. After that we went into the museum library museum thing because it was raining and lets just say, it was dry. I kind of couldn't be bothered with it so I don't have that much else to say. Thankfully by the time we came out it was dry so we tried and failed to walk by the river then headed back to the car. On the way, however, we saw a spanish/litin american band playing on the street. That was amazing! it was about 6 guys playing brass instruments and a woman singing through a megaphone. I think that was the best part about it, the megaphone somehow gave the music the right feel and they were all so energetic it was just so..right. It really kind of reminded me how good street performers can often be! So, that was a good day!
Finally, the next day we were going home! I loved the holiday and everything but I truly am a home girl and I missed internet! We had planned to stop off at some other places on the way home but my mum wasn't feeling too well so we just went straight home.
That was my holiday! I had a good time and got to read a lot! I'm on HP 4!
So, now for my day today. I actually had a great day today! I had a social life for once! It was two of my friend's birthdays today and some of us went to the cinemas for one of them (we're having a book burning party for the other one tomorrow). It was great. I haven't seen my friends in so long and I miss them! One of my friends said she needed to talk to me so we met up earlier and walked up together then went into ASDA where we met up with the rest of our group (except 1 who we met later). I got one of the biggest hugs in the world and the lolz started happening. Oh how I love my friends. So we bought our tickets then headed into the cinemas, but not before I lost my ticket. About 5 minutes after buying it. Then emptied my bag into my friend's hands and found it. That'll teach me not to put a ticket in my huge bag! We were early so just kind of sat talking in the cinema for a while. As always , lolz happened. I have to say, the highlight of the day was sitting there with my friends laughing uncontrollably for at least 10 minutes straight on my lonesome. What I was laughing at I forget but it was very funny (I think, or I might just have been laughing at my laughing) and my friends laughing at me and telling me to stop didn't help. Seriously, I have no idea what made me laugh, my friend said something and I lost it. I can't even think about it without nearly laughing! But hey, laughter is always fun! The film was bad and too long! In my opinion, anyway. It was nearly 3 freaking hours! Oh well, at least I got to spend time with my friends!
My friends are freaks by the way. I love them for that.
Tomorrow us girls are having a burning books party to celebrate a birthday and leaving school in once! It's a sleepover so no blog tomorrow! It's hard having a social life you know...
Today was awesome because: I saw my friends! I had lolz! I had hugs! <<<< 3 of my favourite things right there!
We only had one full day in Bishop Aukland so we went into Durham. Unfortunately I felt ill for the first hour or so when we were there so I couldn't fully appreciate it at first but after lunch I felt SO much better! Food seems to make me feel better at the moment! After lunch we walked around in the rain a bit then went into the big Cathedral that was built for a monk's grave...fancy stuff! It was nice and churchy and I don't have much else to say about it to be honest. After that we went into the museum library museum thing because it was raining and lets just say, it was dry. I kind of couldn't be bothered with it so I don't have that much else to say. Thankfully by the time we came out it was dry so we tried and failed to walk by the river then headed back to the car. On the way, however, we saw a spanish/litin american band playing on the street. That was amazing! it was about 6 guys playing brass instruments and a woman singing through a megaphone. I think that was the best part about it, the megaphone somehow gave the music the right feel and they were all so energetic it was just so..right. It really kind of reminded me how good street performers can often be! So, that was a good day!
Finally, the next day we were going home! I loved the holiday and everything but I truly am a home girl and I missed internet! We had planned to stop off at some other places on the way home but my mum wasn't feeling too well so we just went straight home.
That was my holiday! I had a good time and got to read a lot! I'm on HP 4!
So, now for my day today. I actually had a great day today! I had a social life for once! It was two of my friend's birthdays today and some of us went to the cinemas for one of them (we're having a book burning party for the other one tomorrow). It was great. I haven't seen my friends in so long and I miss them! One of my friends said she needed to talk to me so we met up earlier and walked up together then went into ASDA where we met up with the rest of our group (except 1 who we met later). I got one of the biggest hugs in the world and the lolz started happening. Oh how I love my friends. So we bought our tickets then headed into the cinemas, but not before I lost my ticket. About 5 minutes after buying it. Then emptied my bag into my friend's hands and found it. That'll teach me not to put a ticket in my huge bag! We were early so just kind of sat talking in the cinema for a while. As always , lolz happened. I have to say, the highlight of the day was sitting there with my friends laughing uncontrollably for at least 10 minutes straight on my lonesome. What I was laughing at I forget but it was very funny (I think, or I might just have been laughing at my laughing) and my friends laughing at me and telling me to stop didn't help. Seriously, I have no idea what made me laugh, my friend said something and I lost it. I can't even think about it without nearly laughing! But hey, laughter is always fun! The film was bad and too long! In my opinion, anyway. It was nearly 3 freaking hours! Oh well, at least I got to spend time with my friends!
My friends are freaks by the way. I love them for that.
Tomorrow us girls are having a burning books party to celebrate a birthday and leaving school in once! It's a sleepover so no blog tomorrow! It's hard having a social life you know...
Today was awesome because: I saw my friends! I had lolz! I had hugs! <<<< 3 of my favourite things right there!
Tuesday, 19 July 2011
Holiday. Part 2
I was going to do one big blog about my holiday but then last night I couldn't shut up so here's part 2...
On the Saturday I don't think I woke up for the whole day, I was just kind of asleep all day, we were travelling to Beadnell most of the day though so it didn't matter too much. We stopped in Alnwick for lunch and a bit of shopping then we went to our new accommodation. I think the only way to describe that house is interesting. Outside made our cottage look a lot bigger than it was but the downstairs was okay, apart from the tiny television but the upstairs was weird. The bathroom had a bath and a set of pipes that you had to use for a shower but they weren't long enough so you had to sit down. Having a shower sat down is...uhm...fun. Also, my mum's bedroom door opened to cover mine, so that was fun! That night we had tea at the nearest pub which was busy but still nice.
The next day we went into Seahouses again and walked around and had lunch there and stuff then we went to Bamburgh for a bit. It was interesting going to Bamburgh because I went on a residential there in year 4. Being there brought back some memories but also reminded me of how much I forget from primary school but all round it was pretty good! After walking round a bit we sat on the beach reading until it started to rain so we sat in the car reading for a bit instead.After starting to walk along the beach and then getting rained on again we decided to just go back to our house then had tea at the same pub. Over these past 2 days I managed to finish Harry Potter 2 and so we watched a bit of the tiny TV which decided it was black and white for a bit. By the way, black and white makes everything a lot more dramatic!
The next day we went to a village called Craster and looked around Dunstanbrugh castle which was interesting. It was the first day of good weather we had so the walk from Craster to the castle was pretty nice! The castle was nice, again I was marveling at the fact that some people actually lived in that place the whole time. After that we drove to Newton Upon The sea (or Upper Newton or Lower Newton; I'm not sure which) and sat on the beach reading again. We were going to go to the pub there for tea but it was reservation only and only between 7 and 8 so we gave up and went to find tea in Seahouses. We ended up having tea at an Indian restaurant where I ordered chicken nuggets and felt incredibly silly and got teased by the waiter.
As it was another nice day we decided to go on a boat trip to the farne islands the next day. Basically, they're islands that birds go to breed on in the summer and people visit them. After quite a rough journey we arrived on the one you're allowed to go on. Lets just say, birds birds everywhere! That trip gave me a new found respect/fear for birds, seeing a lot in one place and seeing people/my mum being attacked by some and getting attacked once myself does that. I'm very glad I wore my hoodie that day! That pretty much took up most of the day and I think we had tea at the pub in Beadnell again but I can't quite remember.
The next day was another nice day so we went to a place called Cragside. Basically it's a big garden that a big inventor/designer made and his house. It was a really nice place! The only word I can think to describe the gardens is that they were very English, I don't know another way to describe it but it was a nice place. We explored the gardens a bit then went into the house. The house was as nice as the gardens! Usually I think the old hoses are a bit fancy and you can't really imagine anyone living there but this one everyone seemed to agree that you could really imagine this house being lived in. After looking round and having an ice cream we went home and had tea somewhere (not a clue where) and read a bit, as you can see we got into a bit of a routine!
We were feeling lazy the next day so we just had a beach day at Beadnell. That included shorts, reading and sunburn. In that order. It was a very sunny day which we spent lying on the beach reading. It doesn't sound like much but it was nice and made my white legs slightly less white so it's all good! To finish off a lovely summer day we had fish and chips (or chicken nuggets and chips, in my case) on the beach. So, overall it was a good day!
For our last day we went to Alnwick castle which was used as Hogwarts in the first movie, we saw where they learnt how to fly! We went into the castle first, this was okay. It's still lived in and it seemed a bit like they were showing off, as if they were trying to make it clear to everyone that they still lived there and it was a bit of a "look what we have" place. Maybe it was just the contrast between it and Cragside but it was just weird. Also, they didn't seem to want to draw a lot of attention to the Harry Potter connection, I feel like they could have made a lot more of it. There was one sign to show where they learnt how to fly but nothing else really. After looking round the house we walked around the grounds then headed into the town for a bit. On the way there we saw a game of muggle quidditch which was awesome! We walked round the town then went to look at the gardens. They were nicer than the house but were still quite fancy. There was a lot of water features! For our last tea of Beadnell we went back to the pub.
That was the end of our time in Beadnell. The holiday blogs will continue and end tomorrow!
Yesterday I forgot to add what our time around Hexam gave to me. I have found out how fun the long country roads are! There is something so satisfying about seeing a long road streching out in front of you then going up and down on all the little hills! I don't know, its just so...satisfying.
roads
On the Saturday I don't think I woke up for the whole day, I was just kind of asleep all day, we were travelling to Beadnell most of the day though so it didn't matter too much. We stopped in Alnwick for lunch and a bit of shopping then we went to our new accommodation. I think the only way to describe that house is interesting. Outside made our cottage look a lot bigger than it was but the downstairs was okay, apart from the tiny television but the upstairs was weird. The bathroom had a bath and a set of pipes that you had to use for a shower but they weren't long enough so you had to sit down. Having a shower sat down is...uhm...fun. Also, my mum's bedroom door opened to cover mine, so that was fun! That night we had tea at the nearest pub which was busy but still nice.
The next day we went into Seahouses again and walked around and had lunch there and stuff then we went to Bamburgh for a bit. It was interesting going to Bamburgh because I went on a residential there in year 4. Being there brought back some memories but also reminded me of how much I forget from primary school but all round it was pretty good! After walking round a bit we sat on the beach reading until it started to rain so we sat in the car reading for a bit instead.After starting to walk along the beach and then getting rained on again we decided to just go back to our house then had tea at the same pub. Over these past 2 days I managed to finish Harry Potter 2 and so we watched a bit of the tiny TV which decided it was black and white for a bit. By the way, black and white makes everything a lot more dramatic!
The next day we went to a village called Craster and looked around Dunstanbrugh castle which was interesting. It was the first day of good weather we had so the walk from Craster to the castle was pretty nice! The castle was nice, again I was marveling at the fact that some people actually lived in that place the whole time. After that we drove to Newton Upon The sea (or Upper Newton or Lower Newton; I'm not sure which) and sat on the beach reading again. We were going to go to the pub there for tea but it was reservation only and only between 7 and 8 so we gave up and went to find tea in Seahouses. We ended up having tea at an Indian restaurant where I ordered chicken nuggets and felt incredibly silly and got teased by the waiter.
As it was another nice day we decided to go on a boat trip to the farne islands the next day. Basically, they're islands that birds go to breed on in the summer and people visit them. After quite a rough journey we arrived on the one you're allowed to go on. Lets just say, birds birds everywhere! That trip gave me a new found respect/fear for birds, seeing a lot in one place and seeing people/my mum being attacked by some and getting attacked once myself does that. I'm very glad I wore my hoodie that day! That pretty much took up most of the day and I think we had tea at the pub in Beadnell again but I can't quite remember.
The next day was another nice day so we went to a place called Cragside. Basically it's a big garden that a big inventor/designer made and his house. It was a really nice place! The only word I can think to describe the gardens is that they were very English, I don't know another way to describe it but it was a nice place. We explored the gardens a bit then went into the house. The house was as nice as the gardens! Usually I think the old hoses are a bit fancy and you can't really imagine anyone living there but this one everyone seemed to agree that you could really imagine this house being lived in. After looking round and having an ice cream we went home and had tea somewhere (not a clue where) and read a bit, as you can see we got into a bit of a routine!
We were feeling lazy the next day so we just had a beach day at Beadnell. That included shorts, reading and sunburn. In that order. It was a very sunny day which we spent lying on the beach reading. It doesn't sound like much but it was nice and made my white legs slightly less white so it's all good! To finish off a lovely summer day we had fish and chips (or chicken nuggets and chips, in my case) on the beach. So, overall it was a good day!
For our last day we went to Alnwick castle which was used as Hogwarts in the first movie, we saw where they learnt how to fly! We went into the castle first, this was okay. It's still lived in and it seemed a bit like they were showing off, as if they were trying to make it clear to everyone that they still lived there and it was a bit of a "look what we have" place. Maybe it was just the contrast between it and Cragside but it was just weird. Also, they didn't seem to want to draw a lot of attention to the Harry Potter connection, I feel like they could have made a lot more of it. There was one sign to show where they learnt how to fly but nothing else really. After looking round the house we walked around the grounds then headed into the town for a bit. On the way there we saw a game of muggle quidditch which was awesome! We walked round the town then went to look at the gardens. They were nicer than the house but were still quite fancy. There was a lot of water features! For our last tea of Beadnell we went back to the pub.
That was the end of our time in Beadnell. The holiday blogs will continue and end tomorrow!
Yesterday I forgot to add what our time around Hexam gave to me. I have found out how fun the long country roads are! There is something so satisfying about seeing a long road streching out in front of you then going up and down on all the little hills! I don't know, its just so...satisfying.
roads
Monday, 18 July 2011
Why hello there
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"
That has certainly been the case for me over this past 12 days. You have no idea how much I have missed writing, I don't think I have ever felt as big of an urge to write than I did after just one day away from any way to write my thoughts down. It's incredible, even when I wanted to be an author I never wanted to write that much, I have no idea why, but from the journey away I was desperate to write. So, this will be me making up for lot time!
So, on the 6th of July me and my mum set out, with a packed car, towards Low Gate (a small village very near Hexam). We drove for a bit with some amusing happenings, one when we saw a van for Bilabong Plumbing which I found hilarious because I always find silly, little things funny. At about 4pm we arrived at the B&B we would be staying at for a few days, I really liked that place. It was an old barn conversion and an alpaca farm. They also had 2 dogs who liked to great you every time you left or arrived and a few cats which you hardly saw. Once we arrived and got our bags in etc. we went into Hexam for tea. It was a bit early so we walked around for a bit and saw a street with the name Priestpopple (which amused me) before going to a nice indian restaurant for tea. When we got back to the B&B one of the owners asked if we'd like to go and meet the alpacas because he was just going to feed them, so we did. Alpacas are kind of a cross between llamas and horses with very long necks and very soft fur. That was our first holiday day and I spent a lot of it thinking "I need to write about this in my blog" so here you go!
The next day we visited one of my mum's cousins she hadn't seen in years. That was fun, I mainly just listened to everyone speaking but it was nice and it felt like I was getting to know my mum better. We had lunch there and then went to Corbridge; an old roman settlement. That was good, they have a good audio guide and I discovered that I really was interested in finding out more, something I don't think I would have been a couple of years ago. I still can't get my head around the fact that people lived there. The place we were walking through that looked like just stones were once houses, places where people had their whole lives. I don't think I'll ever truly be able to get my head around that and I can't help but wonder what the people who lived there would think if they knew we were looking round their town thousands of years after they made it. Once we had done the audio guide and looked round the museum we went in search of tea. This proved to be harder than it sounds and we managed to get lost and, again, have some laughs. My mum especially liked it when I told her to "go whichever way you want" I love my mum! We ended up going to a pub that was quite literally in the middle of nowhere. The food was nice but there was a lot of it and, having also had a big breakfast, I was stuffed! While we were eating a group of morris dancers appeared and started practicing in the middle of the road to get out so, trying to leave was fun. We discovered that morris dancers look very silly when you can't hear the music they're dancing to!
The next day we did more roman history stuff. We went for a walk along a bit of Hadrian's Wall during which I came to the conclusion that I am an old woman at heart, I certainly act like one! From there we went to Vindolanda which is a roman excavation site where they are constantly having digs. It was really interesting as this one was more of a village and fort so you saw where normal people would live. The people who are digging are volunteers and I it's now one of the many things on my I'd-like-to-do-but-don't-know-if-I-ever-will list. I can't actually remember much else about that day but I know that I enjoyed it!
That was our stay in Hexam. I was going to do the whole holiday today but I'm not going to have time so I will continue it tomorrow!
That has certainly been the case for me over this past 12 days. You have no idea how much I have missed writing, I don't think I have ever felt as big of an urge to write than I did after just one day away from any way to write my thoughts down. It's incredible, even when I wanted to be an author I never wanted to write that much, I have no idea why, but from the journey away I was desperate to write. So, this will be me making up for lot time!
So, on the 6th of July me and my mum set out, with a packed car, towards Low Gate (a small village very near Hexam). We drove for a bit with some amusing happenings, one when we saw a van for Bilabong Plumbing which I found hilarious because I always find silly, little things funny. At about 4pm we arrived at the B&B we would be staying at for a few days, I really liked that place. It was an old barn conversion and an alpaca farm. They also had 2 dogs who liked to great you every time you left or arrived and a few cats which you hardly saw. Once we arrived and got our bags in etc. we went into Hexam for tea. It was a bit early so we walked around for a bit and saw a street with the name Priestpopple (which amused me) before going to a nice indian restaurant for tea. When we got back to the B&B one of the owners asked if we'd like to go and meet the alpacas because he was just going to feed them, so we did. Alpacas are kind of a cross between llamas and horses with very long necks and very soft fur. That was our first holiday day and I spent a lot of it thinking "I need to write about this in my blog" so here you go!
The next day we visited one of my mum's cousins she hadn't seen in years. That was fun, I mainly just listened to everyone speaking but it was nice and it felt like I was getting to know my mum better. We had lunch there and then went to Corbridge; an old roman settlement. That was good, they have a good audio guide and I discovered that I really was interested in finding out more, something I don't think I would have been a couple of years ago. I still can't get my head around the fact that people lived there. The place we were walking through that looked like just stones were once houses, places where people had their whole lives. I don't think I'll ever truly be able to get my head around that and I can't help but wonder what the people who lived there would think if they knew we were looking round their town thousands of years after they made it. Once we had done the audio guide and looked round the museum we went in search of tea. This proved to be harder than it sounds and we managed to get lost and, again, have some laughs. My mum especially liked it when I told her to "go whichever way you want" I love my mum! We ended up going to a pub that was quite literally in the middle of nowhere. The food was nice but there was a lot of it and, having also had a big breakfast, I was stuffed! While we were eating a group of morris dancers appeared and started practicing in the middle of the road to get out so, trying to leave was fun. We discovered that morris dancers look very silly when you can't hear the music they're dancing to!
The next day we did more roman history stuff. We went for a walk along a bit of Hadrian's Wall during which I came to the conclusion that I am an old woman at heart, I certainly act like one! From there we went to Vindolanda which is a roman excavation site where they are constantly having digs. It was really interesting as this one was more of a village and fort so you saw where normal people would live. The people who are digging are volunteers and I it's now one of the many things on my I'd-like-to-do-but-don't-know-if-I-ever-will list. I can't actually remember much else about that day but I know that I enjoyed it!
That was our stay in Hexam. I was going to do the whole holiday today but I'm not going to have time so I will continue it tomorrow!
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
Last blog for a while :(
As you can tell from the title, this will be my last blog for a while, about 13 days, to be exact. I'm going away tomorrow and, even though I'm staying in the country, I will be without internet (sadface). I really think I'm going to be away at the worst possible time though. While I am away there is the Harry Potter premiere (which I found out today Joe Walker and Darren Criss will be at), the release of the final film and LeackyCon. Yes, I am sad about missing these things because of StarKid. I wasn't too bothered about the HP premiere until today but finding out that those two would be there made me jealous, seriously I think the room will explode out of immense awesomeness on that day! I'm more disappointed about the other two though. A week or so ago I wouldn't have been bothered about the release of the final HP but now, thanks to tumblr, I have discovered the amazing community around Harry Potter and I wish I could see people's reactions when they see the movie. I just love seeing people happy. I am probably most upset about missing LeakyCon, though. I would have loved to go but I know that's not possible and if I was at home with internet then I could watch videos as they were posted and feel like I'm experiencing it with everyone else, rather than after everyone else which is something I haven't been able to do yet. Oh well, I guess there'll be other times I can do that! I'm a bit upset about missing these things but the videos will still be there when I get back so I'm staying positive about it!
That big essay might not look like me staying positive but I had to get it out somewhere...
I mentioned in a previous blog that I was writing an email to Julia Albain and, after a day of writing it in word, I sent it to her yesterday evening. It was an essay. And by essay I mean 800+ words, more than some of my courseworks at school. I had a lot to say to her. I have been checking my emails obsessively since I sent it and, although I don't expect an instant reply, I really hope she reads it and replies. I just had to tell her how much her book meant to me, I hope I've conveyed that well enough. I have a feeling that the email turned into something like one of my blog posts but oh well, that's me.
As I've mentioned before, I'm currently reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone for the second time and I'm loving it! I can't believe I didn't appreciate it when I was younger. I'm making up for lost time now! I was very young when I first read them; my mum read the first few to me in bed! I didn't watch the films because when I was younger I didn't like the cinema and was a wimp so I have some making up to do now!
Today I got an email from the people I'm volunteering with in August and got the dates I'm going to be helping out and everything. I'm really looking forward to it! There is a volunteer induction day later on this month and I discovered that they don't have anything on Wednesdays. That'll be good because I'll have 2 days in, 1 day of, 2 days in and 2 days off. In short, I'll still be able to be on holiday a bit! I think doing this will show me whether I really want be work with children with special needs because, apart from work experience, I'll be experiencing what I will be in my job for the first time. Everyone I've talked to has said that I'll love the experience and I really hope so, if not I'll be stuck for a career! I'll be doing BEDA while volunteering so I'll be able to share the experience and keep a record of how it's going. I'm looking forward to August!
I've just looked over the title of my blog and realized how dramatic it sounds! It sounds like I'm giving up on blogging for a bit or something but I'm not, I promise!
Today was awesome because: When I was home alone the washing was out and I was in charge of looking out for the washing if it rained. It rained and I had to dash out to get it inside, while it was raining. It's surprisingly fun to run about in the rain, even if you are on your own! I've danced in rain before and it was one of the funnest things I have ever done, seriously everyone should try it!
Quote of the day:
"I write to just say the things that I need to say"
Julia Albain
This is exactly why I write in this blog, it just sums everything I think about my writing.
That big essay might not look like me staying positive but I had to get it out somewhere...
I mentioned in a previous blog that I was writing an email to Julia Albain and, after a day of writing it in word, I sent it to her yesterday evening. It was an essay. And by essay I mean 800+ words, more than some of my courseworks at school. I had a lot to say to her. I have been checking my emails obsessively since I sent it and, although I don't expect an instant reply, I really hope she reads it and replies. I just had to tell her how much her book meant to me, I hope I've conveyed that well enough. I have a feeling that the email turned into something like one of my blog posts but oh well, that's me.
As I've mentioned before, I'm currently reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone for the second time and I'm loving it! I can't believe I didn't appreciate it when I was younger. I'm making up for lost time now! I was very young when I first read them; my mum read the first few to me in bed! I didn't watch the films because when I was younger I didn't like the cinema and was a wimp so I have some making up to do now!
Today I got an email from the people I'm volunteering with in August and got the dates I'm going to be helping out and everything. I'm really looking forward to it! There is a volunteer induction day later on this month and I discovered that they don't have anything on Wednesdays. That'll be good because I'll have 2 days in, 1 day of, 2 days in and 2 days off. In short, I'll still be able to be on holiday a bit! I think doing this will show me whether I really want be work with children with special needs because, apart from work experience, I'll be experiencing what I will be in my job for the first time. Everyone I've talked to has said that I'll love the experience and I really hope so, if not I'll be stuck for a career! I'll be doing BEDA while volunteering so I'll be able to share the experience and keep a record of how it's going. I'm looking forward to August!
I've just looked over the title of my blog and realized how dramatic it sounds! It sounds like I'm giving up on blogging for a bit or something but I'm not, I promise!
Today was awesome because: When I was home alone the washing was out and I was in charge of looking out for the washing if it rained. It rained and I had to dash out to get it inside, while it was raining. It's surprisingly fun to run about in the rain, even if you are on your own! I've danced in rain before and it was one of the funnest things I have ever done, seriously everyone should try it!
Quote of the day:
"I write to just say the things that I need to say"
Julia Albain
This is exactly why I write in this blog, it just sums everything I think about my writing.
Sunday, 3 July 2011
My head.
So, my last blog was pathetic. I had planned to do a big recap of everything that happened but it got late so I just wrote some rubbish down and put some pictures in. Sorry. So, I'm going to to a promcap (yes, I'm a nerd and that makes me happy). As most girls did, I spent the whole day getting ready. I basically relaxed until 2pm when we went to the hairdressers to get my hair done (well duh) which was fun. I was a bit iffy because I didn't bother with make up and lenses so I was looking bad and was blind. But it was all good. I actually love how my hair worked out in the end! After the hairdressers my mum went and picked my friend, Sally, up so that she could get ready at ours. We did our make up and got in our dresses on etc. together and it was really fun! By the time Sally and I were done our other friends were arriving and getting ready. We had picture times and then, at 6:30 our limo arrived. We went out and had another picture time before getting into the limo and having an hours fun raving (ey oh we're in a limo) we arrived at the hotel that prom was held at. By the way, getting out of a limo is fun when you're in a floor length dress, all part of the fun I guess! After another, shorter, picture time we headed inside where most of our year was already there but that was okay. After a few minutes we were told to go in and take our seats which we did (we were on table 11, in case you were wondering) and we began our meal. Loads of people last year complained about the food but everyone on our table thought it was great! After some lolz (Brioni commenting on how cute our waiter was when he was right there and Prince Harry serving people) the meal was over and the dancing/queuing for pictures started. After waiting for ages we got some professional photographs and giving up on buying one because the que for that was huge and cramped and we can get them on the website we gave up and went for a bit of a dance. Dancing is pretty hard in heels and long dresses so after doing the macarena we went and collapsed in seats. We took some photos, danced a bit more (reach for the stars and a steps song came on , we couldn't resist) and laughed at (drunk) teachers dancing. It was a good night! We were one of the few groups who got a limo back home so once the last song was played we went out to look for our limwo. Another, shorter this time, rave and we were home! The two boys in our group went home and us girls had a sleepover. I actually didn't want to get out of the limo/out of my dress by the end of the night but it had to be done. We actually slept more at a sleepover than we have before and it was kind of fun. Just being with my best friends was great!
I had to write all that out because I really never want to forget that night. I've kind of got this irrational fear of forgetting it so I wrote it all down here just to be sure...
Also, on Thursday I got Julia Albain's book (A Glamorously Unglamorous Life) in the post but couldn't read it because I had to get on and get ready. I finished it on Friday though and it's amazing! I recommend it to everyone, even if you're not a StarKid it's definitely worth reading! I can't get over how amazing she is, she has inspired me so much: I am now more motivated to do things and not just sit here and do nothing. It also made me want to write a lot more. The book stemmed from the blog she kept while in New York and that has made me want to write on here even more. I don't think I can explain how I feel about her book properly but I'm trying! She has had the best experiences and has the best friends and I kind of feel like if I have half of the experiences she had in NY I will have a good life and learn a lot. I just hope I can have the opportunity to learn as much as she did! I am planning on writing her an email to tell her how amazing she is but I'm not sure quite how to without sounding creepy or gushing too much. I'll work it out!
A few days ago this amazing video was posted on a StarKid group on facebook. The link is: http://youtu.be/HkHUASn-K6M if you like StarKid then you'll love this! It is seriously the ultimate StarKid thing. Denise Donovan has already seen it and I think they all need to see it! It basically sums up exactly how I feel about Team StarKid. Just the whole thing is just wow. I love this fandom too much for words. I think I can honestly say that Team StarKid have changed my life.
In news slightly related to that, I have started Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone. I gave up on To Kill a Mockingbird because it was overdue at the library and I felt bad and wasn't enjoying it. I might pick it up again sometime but for now I'm starting on Harry Potter! I'm really getting into the book at the moment and I can't wait to watch the films! My friends will definitely be proud!
I've mentioned it before in my blog but I'm going to really explain it today because I feel like it's kind of special. So in our garden we have a cherry tree, some raspberry bushes (I think they're bushes) and a blackcurrant bush. This year we've had A LOT of fruit from them and I've actually really enjoyed picking it! I don't know what it is, there's just something about being outside as a lovely summer's day is ending picking fruit that has been grown in your garden. It just feels good. The fruit's nice as well, so that's a bonus! I hope I can have a nice garden with fruit trees in when I'm settled down in my own house with a family etc. I guess it's one of those things I want my kids to have...
As you can tell from the title, this blog really was just what is in my head at the moment. But I guess that's my blog! It is called a teenager talking to herself after all!
Today was awesome because: I didn't really do anything! I need these days every now and again.
Yesterday was awesome because: I went into Jane Norman which has gone into liquidation and so had a sale on and they just had really loud music playing. It kind of felt like a goodbye party. Don't ask me why, but it made me smile.
Lyrics of the day:
We all have a story to tell
He Is We - Happily ever after
I had to write all that out because I really never want to forget that night. I've kind of got this irrational fear of forgetting it so I wrote it all down here just to be sure...
Also, on Thursday I got Julia Albain's book (A Glamorously Unglamorous Life) in the post but couldn't read it because I had to get on and get ready. I finished it on Friday though and it's amazing! I recommend it to everyone, even if you're not a StarKid it's definitely worth reading! I can't get over how amazing she is, she has inspired me so much: I am now more motivated to do things and not just sit here and do nothing. It also made me want to write a lot more. The book stemmed from the blog she kept while in New York and that has made me want to write on here even more. I don't think I can explain how I feel about her book properly but I'm trying! She has had the best experiences and has the best friends and I kind of feel like if I have half of the experiences she had in NY I will have a good life and learn a lot. I just hope I can have the opportunity to learn as much as she did! I am planning on writing her an email to tell her how amazing she is but I'm not sure quite how to without sounding creepy or gushing too much. I'll work it out!
A few days ago this amazing video was posted on a StarKid group on facebook. The link is: http://youtu.be/HkHUASn-K6M if you like StarKid then you'll love this! It is seriously the ultimate StarKid thing. Denise Donovan has already seen it and I think they all need to see it! It basically sums up exactly how I feel about Team StarKid. Just the whole thing is just wow. I love this fandom too much for words. I think I can honestly say that Team StarKid have changed my life.
In news slightly related to that, I have started Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone. I gave up on To Kill a Mockingbird because it was overdue at the library and I felt bad and wasn't enjoying it. I might pick it up again sometime but for now I'm starting on Harry Potter! I'm really getting into the book at the moment and I can't wait to watch the films! My friends will definitely be proud!
I've mentioned it before in my blog but I'm going to really explain it today because I feel like it's kind of special. So in our garden we have a cherry tree, some raspberry bushes (I think they're bushes) and a blackcurrant bush. This year we've had A LOT of fruit from them and I've actually really enjoyed picking it! I don't know what it is, there's just something about being outside as a lovely summer's day is ending picking fruit that has been grown in your garden. It just feels good. The fruit's nice as well, so that's a bonus! I hope I can have a nice garden with fruit trees in when I'm settled down in my own house with a family etc. I guess it's one of those things I want my kids to have...
As you can tell from the title, this blog really was just what is in my head at the moment. But I guess that's my blog! It is called a teenager talking to herself after all!
Today was awesome because: I didn't really do anything! I need these days every now and again.
Yesterday was awesome because: I went into Jane Norman which has gone into liquidation and so had a sale on and they just had really loud music playing. It kind of felt like a goodbye party. Don't ask me why, but it made me smile.
Lyrics of the day:
We all have a story to tell
He Is We - Happily ever after
Friday, 1 July 2011
PromPromProm
It was prom yesterday and it was a really great night! We got a limo there and back which was possibly the best part of the night, we basically raved the whole time. I honestly think I could have stayed in there all night and been very happy. This is probably quite sad but oh well. It was a great way to end our high school education but I really couldn't do it every year! We ate our meal, got a lot of pictures and even danced a bit! The meal was surprisingly nice and everyone looked so stunning! As I've said before it was a great night but I kept expecting to see my friend, Dan who is on holiday so couldn't come (sadface). It kind of felt wrong that he wasn't there but I've decided that we're going to do something after results day!
Here are some pictures because I like picture blogs...
Those were some of my favourite pictures.
Afterwards we had a sleepover which was good, I love my friends so much! But I'm kind of tired now so I'm going to go to bed...
Here are some pictures because I like picture blogs...
Those were some of my favourite pictures.
Afterwards we had a sleepover which was good, I love my friends so much! But I'm kind of tired now so I'm going to go to bed...
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